Tuesday, July 28, 2009

A day in Jami's Dating World.

We're not sure who Jami is, but this guest post suggest that while she may attract a-holes, she doesn't suffer them patiently. Enjoy.

Holy Fucking Shitballs.

Let's do a little preface here.

NEEDY GUY is, you guessed it, a little needy. He seems starved for attention. Spoiled even. He's a very attractive guy - so maybe he is used to women saying "yes" to him all the time.

My life is not some empty hole with countless lonely days and nights. Sorry. I have wonderful friends who, for some reason, like to spend time with me on the weekends. I book up quickly - so uh, put your request in early.

I have strict rules about going out during the week and I refuse to allow any guy into my home if they do not know my son. He does not need to see a new guy with mommy every 2 weeks.

So, Needy Guy ....

He wanted to take me out on a date. Great! Yes, I would love to go out. Problem is, he would wait and ask me on Friday night to go and do something ON Friday night. **Sigh** Sorry, I have plans already. Now, when I would tell him this his immediate response would be, "If you liked me, you would make time for me."

I'm sorry, man, I don't know you and I will not cancel plans for you. You should've called me earlier in the week like any other person with any sense would have done.

Then he asks to come to my home ... on a Wednesday afternoon. Sorry. No. I tell him my "rules." Oh, well, this in unacceptable to him. How can I be telling him "no"? Can he come over after my son is asleep? No.
Can I break my rules this one time? No.

I need you all to keep in mind that all of this "communication" is through TEXT MESSAGE. This guy had yet to call me.

The last straw for me was about a month ago. He asked if I would like to go do something. I explain to him that this weekend is my weekend with my son, so no, I can't do anything. On the Saturday of that weekend he sends me a text, asking me what I was up to. I tell him that I'm at my friend’s house. He gets angry. He thought I couldn't do anything that weekend. I always make time for other people but not for him.

Whoa. Whoa-day. Hun, I'm with my son. I'm not partying it up. I then go off on him telling him that he's too needy and seems to always want to argue and I'm not interested in drama queens. I also tell him to screw himself b/c he had yet to fucking call me.

He disappears. Thank you baby Jesus.

Then, about two weeks ago HE CALLS ME! What?! He does know how to use a phone. We have good conversation. He seems to understand the whole situation now. Great.

He then asks if he could take me out. I was free Saturday, so I say "Yes." We decide that he'll pick me up around 7. Great.

(Well, not really. I wasn't looking forward to it b/c he had started to show his "needy" qualities again....)

He sends me a text around 4:30p on Saturday to tell me that he has to cancel because he has a funeral to go to the next day out of town.
Yay!! I don't have to go through with this! I had an easy way out. I decide that I will make a trip to my grandmother's bar. Free tab.

On my way to said bar and Needy Guy calls. "What are you doing tonight?"
Me: Well, I'm on my way to [city where bar is located]
NG: Oh, you going to that bar?
Me: Yup.
NG: Well, would you mind if I went meet you. I don't think I'm going to stay in [out of town location] tonight.
Me: Uh, yeah, I guess. I don't mind.
NG: Ok, cool, I'll be there in about an hour.
Me: K.

Two hours later he hasn't shown up. Now, keep in mind that I'm not really worried about it. I'm having a great time. I know 80% of the people at the bar and I'm enjoying myself. But, out of curiosity, I text him asking him if he decided not to come.

He calls.

NG: Hey, you still at the bar?
Me: Yup, you not coming?
NG: Yeah, I'll be there in a bit.

:: we hang up ::

One minute later he calls again

NG: Hey, are you drunk? Buzzed? Or just feelin’ good?
Me: Huh? I don't know ... I'm feeling good. I haven't drank enough to be drunk.
NG: Oh ok. Well, you wanted to stay there or would you like to go back to my house and watch a movie?
Me: Don't you live in [town very far away]?
NG: Yeah
Me: Uh, I don't feel comfortable going to your house...or [far away town] It's way out of my way. Why don't you want to come here?
NG: That's fucked up. You would rather hang out at a bar instead of hang out with me?
Me: Well, it's not really that - I just don't want to go to all the way to your house. We can hang out here.


I hang up.

He calls back

Me: Um, no. I thought I lost connection.
NG: So, you're gonna stay there instead of hanging out with me?
Me: Yeah. You cancelled. I made other plans.
NG: That’s fucked up.
Me: [Needy Guy] look, I'm having a good time and you calling me acting like this is ruining it. I don't need some kind of guilt trip.
NG: Why am I ruining it? Because you're a BITCH?! HUH? YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!

That's my cue to hang up. Psycho.

He immediately sends this text:

"U know what fuk u, u wanted to hangout in [TOWN] but now u dont, u are a fukin bitch"

Wow, man did I mess this one up, huh? Some lucky girl out there will eventually land this winner.
I'm so glad that I didn't go anywhere with this guy.... I would probably be shoved in some deep freezer by now...


Anonymous said...

OMG!!! That sounds like I guy I know lol
Is this guy's name Jason? lol

Anonymous said...


People who end every sentence in an email, text, or comment with an lol should be shot in the fucking throat.

LaMo said...

Jami. Wow. I'm surprised you even gave that jackass a 2nd chance. Dude is a douche. He'll find some equally needy girl and they'll cancel plans for each other and fight about everything and lose all their friends. It'll be wonderful.

***Jami*** said...

Nope - not Jason. haha.

In all honesty, I have no idea why I agreed to this "date"...and yes, this would have been our FIRST date.

p.s. his nickname was "Douche Guy" before I changed it to "Needy Guy."

Anonymous said...

a whiny neurotic post that suggests jami will attract a lot more of this type in the future. jami and needy guy two of a type.

plumpdumpling said...

I gotta be honest. I kinda felt a little bad for Needy Guy until he wrote "fuk" in a text. I'd never be able to get past that.

Anonymous said...

Some one needs to give him a Valium to calm his ass down.
I've actually heard of this happening from old girlfriends in the past and experienced a bit of this sort of thing myself-more than twice. It's not that their really needy...it's deep insecurity and underlying anger over past relationship issues yet to be resolved. I have met some truly sweet guys...that turned into a "needy guy" real fast -they all have one thing in common and that's Possessiveness.

Anonymous said...

I think Jami attracts these douches because she's presents a strong and carefree way of being. That's a challenge for most men.

kathryn said...

The only neuroses I see exhibited here are from the various (or same?) anonymous poster. LOL, asshole, LOL

Anonymous said...

I was the #4 Anon poster...I think #2 and #3 are the same Douche Bag. Very easy to tell who they are.

Anonymous said...

I was #1 anonymous, and #2 and #3 are obviously not the same person. They come to way different conclusions.

I think anonymous #2 is the guy who runs the poetry slams around here.

Shiny Rod said...

I am so laughing my ass off. I like being single and I like my privacy. I keep a very busy schedule and I am usually not available for dating due to my class, production and work schedules. I feel for you girl cause there are a lot of good guys out there. Sorry you got stuck with and ass but you handled it with style and grace.

Anonymous said...

First of all, the needy guy cliche doesn't fit....guy described here sounds erratic and unbalanced. Ditto for the author. Pointless diatribe that started off with "holy fuckin shitballs" and went downhill from there.