A quick note about awkwardness

Dear Internet,

Did I ever tell you about the time when my mom was taking a photo of me and my boyfriend (we were 18 or so, hadn’t been dating too long, and he had come to Christmas dinner, so she took our photo in front of the tree) and instead of saying, “Say Cheese!” she said, “Say Babies!”?

I almost shat myself.

Love,

Serial

Craigslist Personals - Even Stoners Get the Blues

A few extra lbs? No problem! Just don't be a bitch and love smoking weed. Easy!

Super Stoner seeks same - 43 (South Side Bend)

Why can you find these sorts of things always on the south side of town?

Top Keyword Searches Sending DIW Traffic

As the main editor / webmaster of this funny little blog, I have the immense pleasure of reading the ever growing list of keywords sending Dating Is Weird traffic. As we've grown, so has the ridiculousness of many of the keywords.

Below is just a small selection of some of my favorites:

1. "pee party loughlin"

WTF? Why are 23 people looking for me in relation to a pee party? Fuuuccck that. I think it's actually because a co-worker of mine wanted to spam my keyword log...dude has way too much time on his hands..

2. "she farted in my face"

Apparently this is more of a problem than I realized. Quite a few folks landed on DIW looking for assurance they weren't the only ones with fart breath.

3. "dated that douche"

This just seems to be a more succinct synopsis of this blog.

4. "how to get a guy to talk to you"

That's easy sweetie: don't write for this blog.

5. "call us sluts serial monogamist"

Couldn't really figure out what people were looking for here other than one of our regular contributors Serial Monogamist. Hmm.

6. "had no regard for the feelings of others, i was narcissistic and self-absorbed to the point of psychotic delusion"

Personal favorite here.

7. "astroglide lube burning asshole"

Less buttsex, duh. What I wish I could tell is which post came up as most relevant for this search..

8. "boyfriend unemployed parents basement"

I love how you can glean so much from just four words.

9. "buttass naked"

Hey, who doesn't like nudey time.

10. "condoms pinned to the wall"

Evidently it's not just me that misses c.vance on this blog.


That's all for now. There's plenty more so stay tuned.

My First Lay in a New Town

**Editors' Note: Today's guest post comes in from "ZZ Bottom" about his first lay after leaving home.**

so i am writing my first blog...so i'm chosing to write about my first lay in a new town. at 18 i moved to a city out west, and i was having a little trouble meeting the ladies as i did not have a fake id, and i had no friends. well, everyone knows the best way for an underage scrub to meet a young, willing woman...house party!! a co-worker invited me to a house party, and beverages were being served. well, later in the night, a classy young breezy started talkin' to me. before long we were tongue wrestling atop a freezer box in the basement...pretty standard hook-up story up to this point...

enter her hippie ex-boyfriend.

lets call him Kip, and lets call her Jessica...which was her name (i'm surprised i remembered that). in any case, Kip, a disheveled, passive aggressive hippie common to the region, accosted us while we pawed at each other's goodies. being a glutton for self-punishment, he hung around us like the smell of patchouli and body odor while we made out. not long after he says to me, still next to Jessica, "Hey dude, she means a lot to me and we just broke up a week ago... just please promise to wear a condom." Interesting request, but i nodded and we continued kissing and groping. We made the natural course to the cramped bathroom. Young Jessica lifted her skirt and we commenced to boning...without a condom. HA! (now i typically don't endorse this cavalier attitude about sex, but luckily i've since been tested and came out ok!)

Anyway, dude, Kip, sees us coming out of the bathroom, fully sexed out. Being the sweet doormat that he is, he offered us a ride to my new apartment. SWEET! this dildo let us pile into his cute little yellow VW bug (like Ted Bundy's) and took us! Then he dropped us off and gave me the whole, "hey, she's a great girl...treat her right" speech. Then he left and we had more unprotected sex on my couch. the next morning i found her panties on the sidewalk in front of my house. poetic.

thanks Kip