Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Important Information About Kissing...While Peeing

*Editors' Note: This guest submission came to us from Deor, who left us ROFL out loud. Thanks Deor!*

I am currently in a relationship with a particularly slippery siren of a woman. She refuses to be tied down, not wanting to give up her autonomy, her yet-unknown dreams. She has told me repeatedly that she wants a relationship in addition to her life and never central to it. She has also told me that I may want to cut my losses and get out of the relationship while I still can (occasionally she’ll do the push/pulling away thing—so irritating). Never in my life have I met anyone that I’ve adored more than her. This is the most challenging, loving, educational, open, intimate relationship I’ve ever been in and now you all know it.

So my story selection takes place in my bathroom. My lover and I live seven blocks away from each other and sleep at one or the other’s house mostly every night. One night we are both in the bathroom getting ready for bed—teeth-brushing, face-washing, that kind of thing. We finish brushing our teeth at about the same time and we start making-out a little bit. While we’re making out she unbuttons her jeans and awkwardly sits on the toilet…while we’re still kissing. My lips are still locked to hers as I follow her down to her sitting position on the throne. She breaks the kiss off as soon as she starts peeing.

“What?” I say.

“I don’t know. That’s weird,” she says.

I hadn’t given the weirdness of the situation any thought so I say,


“Yeah.” And she makes a grossed-out face.

So I put the question to my fellow bloggers: is it strange to make-out with someone while they’re peeing? Or taking it from the other side, is it strange to make-out with someone while you’re peeing? I can understand the inelegance of kissing while you poop—the straining, the ploppity-plops, and the eventual smell, but while peeing? I didn’t have a problem with it and she certainly didn’t have trouble dropping trow in front of me. I’d like to think that I wouldn’t mind kissing someone while I was peeing, seeing it as more of an experience to be had than a situation to be scrutinized, but that’s just me. Is it a privacy issue? If so, why didn’t she just kick me out of the bathroom? I think this was a first for both of us so we didn’t know our boundaries on this one.

Mental Note: Before you kiss your partner while they’re on the toilet (doing whatever) make sure you check-in with them first before you start gettin’ busy.


Serial Monogamist said...

This one's never come up for me. Unnow, I don't think I want to pee and make out. Toilet farts have a tendency to echo.

But you know what is weird? Holding a ween while it's peeing. It feels funny.

Bend Oregon Restaurants said...

Really? What throws me off is that she'd drop her pants and make a move for the toilet allowing the kiss to continue while she pearched on the thrown. That's weird. Break that kiss and move it to the bedroom when she's finished with her lady business.

I don't want to know what goes on with the ladies on the toilet. I stand to pee and sit to drop the duece. Women sit all the time, I wouldn't want to risk an accidental duece being delivered while trying to make it passed first base.

Squatting + Kissing = Yuk Face.

Bend Oregon Restaurants

dreashu said... boyfriend is the same, although I think he tries to nibble my neck while I am peeing, mostly to make me squirm...which gives him endless delight. I am not a toilet-kisser...but he is.. hey, we all have to make compromises in relationships...I draw the line at a shared shit-kiss though. ew.

Anonymous said...

we only have to make compromises in relationships if you are not good enough to get better...

c.vance said...

a curious question:
is this a same sex couple?
for some reason, that seems to matter in the schematics to me...

i can see myself making out with another guy while he is pissing but not a woman... arm wrapped around his throat and forcing his head back--- sure, there would be a mess to clean up but, let's be honest--- the mess would be there to clean up anyway. i can see it for some reason.

and, for some other inexplicable reason, seems perfectly normal to me for girl-on-girl to happen the way described.

a hetero couple, tho?
that's just gross. stop doing that. otherwise you'll soon be typing up an entry about the break-up of the most open relationship that could not withstand the obvious ickyness of making out while pissing... if it's not on one or the other of you, it's not made to make out during.

and, another question:
what the fuck is a ween?

itinerantwoman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deor said...

Yes, c. vance, it is a same-sex relationship.

In her defense for moving to the toilet while we were clearly otherwise occupied, I think she really had to pee. I don't know that for sure though. I'll ask her about her motives later and report back to the group.

c.vance said...

wow, called that---

A. James Editorial said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deor said...

So I checked with my lover and indeed, she made for the toilet during the kiss because she really had to pee.

David said...

Sorry but in my house we have two bathrooms so we don't have to share tooth brushing time and certainly not share dropping trou for throne activities.

I just don't want to witness that nor do I want a witness. What kind of crazy are you folks into anyway?

Frank said...

I had a girlfriend that would do that, kissing-peeing would be fine with her.
Not the other one.

Frank said...

I had a girlfriend that would do that, kissing-peeing would be fine with her.
Not the other one.

Anonymous said...

I dunno, it's a little weird for me too. And I'm not usually weird about stuff like that...I mean it was my idea to bone in the woods that time, and to bone in that empty community swimming pool that other time, and I'll kiss in front of anyone, and I'll kiss right through it if he farts or scratches his butt or whatever. But something about being kissed while I'm peeing or kissing him while he's's just weird. Can't explain it.

Brody said...

Wow. I'll have to share this one haha!