Sunday, November 16, 2008

The Over-share

Dating-related things your big sister might not want to hear about:

The size of your boyfriend’s penis. Especially if he’s a disgusting loser-asshole.

How great of head your boyfriend gives. Especially if, in addition to being a disgusting loser-asshole, he is the dickwad, unemployed father of your beautiful daughter.

The time when you and your loser boyfriend were on a break, and you spent the weekend at mom and dad’s, using their computer after they went to bed to find guys on Craigslist, walk to the bar to meet them, hump them (god knows where, thanks for leaving out that detail), and then walk back to mom and dad’s house to go to bed before they got up.

You and your disgusting loser-asshole boyfriend’s forays into anal and how much it hurt. Especially if your loser-asshole boyfriend has long, greasy hair and a thin goatee. And he shows up to Christmas in sweatpants two sizes too big with holes in the ass.

The time you gave head to my best friend’s brother. I totally had the hots for him.


S.G.Loughlin said...

I threw up in my mouth. A lot.

Serial Monogamist said...

There is not enough mouthwash in all the world ...

LaMo said...

I think those details from little sisters is almost worse (blech to sex details from any immediate family member, really). The problem with little sister is that she's your baby sister, and will remain a virgin forever, right? WRONG.

itinerantwoman said...

june, june, june.

i thought about it long and hard and short of being, once again, a young sprout, curious as to the ins and outs of anal, i have no interest in hearing of anyone's forays into it.

from where i sit, it ain't nobody's bidness if you, um, do.

S.G.Loughlin said...

here here itinerent woman!

do do is best left in the toilet bowl.

June said...

Whoa whoa, IW. I'm not the over-sharing butt-humper.

I admit I did pass along the pain, but please don't paint me the greasy douchebag's humpee. Ick.

c.vance said...

but we are not your sister.
so share the details.