Thursday, June 3, 2010

My very own pet stalker

Today's offering is a guest post from "hackneygirl". Happy Dating!

My first ever internet date. Yay! But me being me I should have known it couldn’t go well. And in fact I think I have managed to bag myself my very own personal stalker. WAY TO GO!

I ought to have clocked it earlier but I’m new to this game and his profile was very funny – dry and sarcastic – and his pics were pretty cute. His emails were short and to the point and he seemed keen to meet up rather than spending lots of time exchanging inane emails. My impression: alpha male, possibly quite arrogant but could be a lot of fun. So, to a backing track of alarm bells faintly tinkling, I agreed to meet him for a drink the following evening. And that’s when the trouble started.

8am. My phone buzzes. It’s a text seemingly checking I gave him a real number. Concerning. I reply with a one word affirmative.
8.10am. Another text. This time re-confirming the details of our date later on. I do not reply.

The uneasy feeling persists throughout the day but I am repeatedly reassured that everyone feels like this before their first internet date. Just go along! What’s the worst that can happen? Ok Dr. Pepper, fine, I’ll go!

6pm. Another text. ‘See you soon. x’ SERIOUSLY! I am going to bail if he sends me one more word. I send a matter of fact response. Definitely no kisses.
7pm. (we’re meeting at 8 and I am at this point waiting at a bus stop). Another text! This time saying he’s been delayed at work. So I ring him to find out if he’s a total loony or what. It rings out. I leave a message then head home. This guy has clearly never been out with a girl in his life.
8pm. Buzz, buzz. ‘Just leaving. Can be there in 5 mins.x’ Dude, did you not listen to my message – I’ve gone home for pete’s sake!
8.05pm. He rings me. It takes me FIFTEEN whole minutes to get him off the phone in which time he has repeatedly tried to find out where I live, offered to come and meet me near my house, asked me out for dinner on every single night of the next two weeks (it’s amazing how busy I am all of a sudden) and extracted a promise that I’ll check my diary and get back to him.
10.30pm. Unbelievably, he texts again. Not being insane myself I do not reply.
2am. Yes, you read that right, 2 o clock in the am, he messages me online to explain, yet again, what held him up. I will have to block his profile. He’s not going to like that.

So, I remain an internet virgin and very likely the object of some disturbed fantasy. I am also probably going to have to change my phone number. Do I feel just a little bit grubby and freaked out? Yes I do. Am I going to quit internet dating? Of course not! Or not yet anyway… *

*Since writing this post he has settled into a routine of texting me every morning at 9am with a new angle on why he didn’t make it to our date and the myriad ways he would like to make it up to me. It’s kind of comforting. I might even miss him when he stops.

8 comments:

Amanda said...

I have one like that now. He looks like a hobbit. Anyway, you can get the phone company to change your number for free if you explain you have a stalker. Might have a way to block his texts but I'm not sure. Sorry you have to deal with that. Internet dating sucks. I've been doing it for years. They're all nuts or just out for sex.

The Duke of Ted said...

Having completed a summer term of internet dating I can empathize... It is so hard to get laid if she wont even meet you for drinks and even harder to stalk if she changes he number:)

Not everyone out there is creepy though. Plenty of non-creepy guys are trying really hard to meet a special lady. Dont give up on the interweb just yet!

noloveforyou said...

Eek! Hope he takes the hint soon (or finds someone else to chase after). I was fortunate not to have any such experience during my own lame attempt at online dating - if I had, I would have gone running for the hills much sooner... Good luck!

hackneygirl said...

We shall see! I have an internet date Tuesday and I'm reasonably hopeful my limbs won't be redistributed in bin bags around town by this guy...

Stalker boy emailed again today. His new tactic is to invite me to things and then when I, obviously, don't go with him he sends me a run down of what I missed. Loopy.

Stacy said...

I think you should have given him a chance ... there was nothing I really saw wrong with what happened. It was a valid reason, and at least he let you know before you got to where you were going and was left sitting there stood up. JMO. I'll head over to your blog and read more of your stories.

serial dater said...

i had one just like that a few months ago and like you said...once i stopped replying to his annoying texts...i kinda missed him! LOL!

Robyn said...

Ok, the fact that he's still texting you is a little sad for him but, honestly, you over-reacted. In a huge way. And kind of came off looking like a high-maintenance b$%*h. The morning text was early, sure, but it makes sense to want to know the day of that you're actually going out-- not to plan your day around something that's not going to happen. Obviously he felt obliged to text you back. And seriously, you went home just because he got held up at work? AND didn't understand why his phone went to vm after he already told you-- HI HE IS AT WORK. I'm sorry, but from what you presented here, you're the crazy one. Case closed.

Kathy said...

I had one, too! He looked my address up on the county website and found my house, showing up one morning at my front door while texting "I found you."

My reaction? I bought a dog. A BIG dog. With BIG teeth.

I'm leery, too. Are there really any good single guys out there??