Thursday, October 9, 2008

When Do You Become GF?

I received a late night text last night that was very sweet and nice and said simply "Good night GF!"

GF meaning girlfriend? Hm.

I was unaware that we'd reached that status, particularly given the more then 100 miles separating our home towns. I've only very recently put my toe back in the dating pond and so perhaps I'm a teense skittish at the thought of total immersion, but I'm pretty sure you're not someone's girlfriend unless there's been the monogamy discussion, mutual feelings, etc. al. conversation. Right?

What defines a girlfriend or boyfriend?


Serial Monogamist said...

Good one! Um, yeah, I'm with you. Girlfriend can't be used unless you've approved it or agreed on monogamy.

Also: At what point do you actually have to "break up" with someone you've been seeing? I mean, do you have to have a talk about not seeing each other anymore if you're not a GF?

This stuff is SO confusing to monogamists, I tellyouwhat.

itinerantwoman said...

i dunno. lots of folk call other folk "girlfriend" these days. i wouldn't think on it too much. actually, it could be a platonic hint, and mean just the opposite of the romantic, oldtimey definition.

c.vance said...

i didn't know guys used that word---
i thought something only girls could call each other... like how blacks have their words that only they can say and we crackahs can only call each other crackahs... and i can use the word "kraut" and you cannot...

only girls can say that thing, right?

maybe you're dating a bigot; or, at the very least, someone inconsiderate of inter-culture communication... not sensitive like me.

Anonymous said...

I was seeing a girl for one week.

I was hoping she would become a "girlfriend" in the monogamist way.

I sent her flowers.

That night, she told me she only wanted to be friends.

We'd slept together eight times in a barely over a week. Obviously she was using me for my penis.

She "broke up" with me and we hadn't even been seeing her two weeks. I wasn't even calling her my "girlfriend"

I'd wager a guess that someone can "break up" with someone else after one date. The extent of the damage can only be gauged by the individual who is getting dumped.

At least she had the decency to tell me face-to-face and not through online, or text communication. If you don't want to see someone anymore who has not disrespected you, give them some amount of respect when you divulge your rejection.

LaMo said...

Whatever he meant, the fact that he abbreviated it to just 2 measly letters should be the bigger issue. You want me to be your girlfriend and you're still calling me GF? Am I not worth the extra few seconds to spell out the whole word? Abbreviated girlfriend = abbreviated relationship.

Write up your alley said...

I think it's sweet. And perhaps his way of testing the waters.

He kinda called you his girlfriend, but kinda not.

Serial Monogamist said...

I think it's SO obvious that Write Up Your Alley is in wuv.

Robert Wiesenberg said...

I think putting stock in a title where it's not obvious how you both feel is stupid and leads to a very uncomfortable conversation where you should just know. I'm sure you've had many relationships where you felt so close to someone that the title never crossed your mind when you realized a year had gone by. I mean.. What if he was trying to be witty?

If you like someone then a title isn't anything near to the ability to speak clearly and openly about what's on your mind when the time comes.

If you define it... or have to define it.. maybe you need some acid to really look at it again for what it is..

dereconstructed said...

My read of that would've been that he was using "GF" in the casual way that itinerantwoman suggests. But he could've been fishing. The more important question is how did it make you feel?

Robert Wiesenberg said...

link for MSN's relationship advice on having "THE TALK!! "