Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Band

Or: How to ruin your ex’s birthdays for the rest of his natural life in ten steps

Step one: Find out that one of his favorite bands is playing on his birthday, in town, in a tiny venue.

Step two: Go to the show with him… not like WITH him, but with his friend group.

Step three: Dress really well. Drink. Dance. Take some pictures. Get up really close to the stage.

Step four: Find out where the band is drinking after the show, and then drag him and his friends there.

Step five: Get autographs and strike up a conversation with the band.

Step six: Have the guitarist buy him a birthday drink. Accept several free drinks from said guitarist, since he asked, thank you very much.

Step seven: It would be a huge plus if the guitarist has a foreign accent.

Step eight: Find out that the guitarist was just standing in for their usual guitarist, but that he usually tours with a much more well-known band that you are also a fan of.

Step nine: Get yourself invited back to the hotel to party. Make sure the ex and his friends have got an invite too. Party like a goddamn rockstar, but keep your clothes on.

Step ten: Apologize. He will never be able to top that as a birthday party. Ever.

-Slightly Disheveled


Shiny Rod said...

Better still, why not ignore the ex boyfriend all together and have yourself a ball. BTW, I play guitar!!!

Anonymous said...

Eh. I could think of way worse ways. Like vomit on his birthday cake and punch his new girlfriend in the throat. Or crash his car. Or sleep with him and get pregnant.

But make it awesome? Not seeing the revenge aspect.

"Slightly Disheveled" said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
HarleyQuinn said...

Hahahaaa I did something very similar.
Every birthday he now sends me an "I missyousomuchIwishyouwereherecomeloveme" message.