Monday, January 31, 2011

Miss Manners Neglected to Talk About...

You have a Good One: nice, considerate, sweet. Only thing is, you have the sex drive of a blue-assed baboon and they have the sex drive of... well, do they even have a sex drive? A few of my friends are having this problem, and it's not limited to guys or limited to girls. So I'm asking you: is there a loving way to tell someone that you care about that they need to put out or ship out? I mean, I'm a woman in her 30's... and it's true what they say about women in their 30's. I think sex is healthy and demand a healthy amount of it right now. Maybe we can get some guy advice: has ANYONE ever come up with a tactful way of having this conversation with someone?

7 comments:

Sweet Girl Tracie said...

How about, "I really want sex and need sex. It is a part of the relationship between a man and a woman (or I guess it doesnt necessarily have to be that way) and I am craving sex.

Or you can say it the Sarah Jessica Parker way from SATC in season 5:
"Now kiss me or lay on top of me."

Old Doc Huck said...

According to Dr. Patricia Love, creator of the "Hot Monogamy" training course, a great many couples experience "desire discrepancy." When I teach "Communicating Love" at my community college, I focus on how couples in long term relationships can negotiate or manage such differences through clear communication, "gifting," and experimentation.

Dating, however, may have no expectations about shared values, commitment and love. Therefore, I'd think, why be subtle? Sweet Tracie has a good idea -- just to say that you want and/or need sex. OR drop a subtle hint by putting your hand on the guy's thigh and start walking your fingers north.

Audrey said...

Wait 'til you get to your 40's!!

"Slightly Disheveled" said...

I decided that we're basically just friends now and that I should just break up with him. Weirdly, it worked out well because immediately another prospect introduced himself. I would never have said yes to this Mr. Right if I would have continued to "date" Mr. Friend.

Edinburgh Guy said...

Imo it highlights the importance of communication in a relationship

sarah said...

Sex, although I personally believe it's importance has been exaggerated a lot, is still an important part of any couple relationship.

If it's a problem during dating (unless the other is going through a difficult but transitory phase in his life) imagine the result if the relationship develops into something more permanent.

I think you were right to terminate it before you became too involved.

Anonymous said...

Tactful idk but... You know there are some inches you can't scratch alone. I need a little attention maybe you could show me in the shower