A friend recently asked my opinion on wearing lingerie given by an ex with a new lover. I was totally at a loss for the etiquette on that one, so I put it to you, DIW readers.
Is it ok to wear lingerie given by an ex with a new lover? On a more general level, what do you do with old gifts from previous loves when in a new relationship?
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16 comments:
Such a good point! I think if it reminds you of them, it shouldn't be done, but if you consider it just normal, I would! x
As the fashion lark said, it is all dependant on the meaning of said garment. It isn't to say you should burn all the lingerie when you break up with a person but you should consider what it means to you when you wear it. What thoughts and feelings does putting it up entail. It should focus on your current lover
For the most part it should be a don't ask and don't tell situation on the part of the guy. I can almost guarantee that the guy won't really care. He will be paying more attention to the scantily clad female in front of him.
I think it has to do with magnitude. A pretty bra and panties are less intrusive than... say, something latex or something with garters. If it screams "KINKY SEX" I think I would retire it. Let The New One buy you a brand new fresh kinky outfit with no previous associations attached. Bra and panties though... totally fine.
I faced the same dilemma with a sex toy. I bought one with the ex, for use with both of us. Of course, he was a drunken slob, so I used it alone mostly. When the new guy came around, he asked if I had any toys. I said I did, and pulled it out. At that very second, I decided it wasn't a good idea. Obviously. I threw it away.
I agree with Slightly Disheveled completely about the bra & panties.
Agreed, good question... and I think that if you see it as a lingere, rather than memorabilia, then it is fine. If you had an expensive piece of jewellery given to you by an ex, you're not likely to ditch that...
Everything goes apart from sex toys.
Just started following your blog... love it! (:
I think it's ok to wear lingerie bought by an ex as long as it's not gonna make you feel all nostalgic and weird. You don't want to be getting sexy and then freak out with thoughts of your ex. That is not cool! Although, looking at it the other way round. I gave an ex some nice CK boxers for Christmas last year, and if he wore them with his new woman I would not be happy. It's a bit silly really!!
Also, I keep presents from exes. Memorabilia and the likes (:
Thanks for an awesome blog xxx
Absolutely yes. Lingerie is meant to be worn. Who cares who gave it to you? And either way, it's only going to be on for a minute or two.
I would, but I wouldn't tell the new guy that an ex brought it for me. that would be rude.
Lol. I've never thought about it like that. Gee Thanks. Now every time a woman wears lingerie for me, I'll be wondering who else she's worn it for.
Nah I'm lying ass lying. I wouldn't give a damn!
I'd say definitely not. The last thing a guy wants to think about when he's looking at his girlfriend in lingerie is the last guy she slept with.
I do think that it's not okay. If your in a relationship you should not use or keep anything that would remind you of your past. It's a big insult to your partner especially a lingerie.
I don't really think what Sandra said is realistic. I was with my ex for 4.5 years, we still live in the same town and have a lot of mutual friends. If I tried to avoid all the things that reminded me of our past, I would never leave the house or see any of my friends. I just don't tell the new boy when something reminds me of my ex. Like others said, I think as long as wearing the lingerie doesn't make you feel weird or bring up any negative issues, there's no reason not to do it. We all have pasts.
Sure it is!
It's okay to still receive things from an Ex, but to wear a lingerie from an Ex for a date is a BIG NO NO. That's a gross thought, I guess.
My Bf has a pair of boxers with a cute little cartoon his ex gave him saying my booty. I'm not really cool with him wearing them. He picks right when I'm about to get a little something, exactly who they were from. Is it normal that I'm pretty peeved about the ex booty britches?
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