Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Broken

Date number 2 with my latest consisted of watching the Super Bowl together. Why, you may ask? Because that's when he had time off and I freaking love football. (Longtime listeners out West may not understand how a real lady can be such a fan of such a sport, but trust this one when she tells you that all the real Southern girls are. And thankfully, the more you know, the more men down here love it.)

Anyway, as Fergie and Will.I.Am. came on stage, my boy muted the TV and came up with a plan to make better use of the upcoming twenty minutes, wink wink. As most of the country wondered if Fergie would pee her pants, things got warmer between us. He took off his glasses, and I shed a sweater. Hands wandered, moans escaped, and we spent the intermission making very good use of our time.

Since I'm all romantic and shit, I pulled the dude move and started watching the game over his shoulder as we kept making out. Classy, right? When I squealed during a good play that didn't coincide with any sweet move of his, my boy realized what was going on. Busted. He understood, though, and we straightened ourselves up and returned to the game, a little closer together on the sofa this time. As he went to put his glasses back on, they were nowhere to be found. Where were they eventually located, you may ask? Under my big ass, that's where. They were retrieved, arms akimbo, MUCH worse for their lack of wear.

This leads me to my point.
Y'all, please tell me that I'm not the only one who's done this? What have you broken in the name of passion? Leave me a comment about knocked over lamps, chipped teeth, shattered windows, and broken headboards. We're all in this together, after all.

8 comments:

harry said...

that's hilarious!! good one!

Organic Meatbag said...

I pulled a cramp in my ass cheek once during sex...yes, my ass cheek... one could say I thrusted thusly...

Anonymous said...

Flames that almost burnt the house down. See, there was this candle by the bed....and it was cold....and I tried a sexy move while trying to keep warm.....and the sheets and down comforter caught on fire without either of us noticing because we were under the covers.
Still have the burn marks as a sweet reminder of that fling.

Anonymous said...

I stepped in dogshit just as I leaned in to up the ante on a girl I was friends with. Never did get a kiss from her.

Anonymous said...

My arm hit a glass of wine that I left on the bedside table. Spilled all over a white lamp shade and a book.

Anonymous said...

Just like two days ago I got deodorant ALL over a guy's black shirt. SO embarrassing. I was debating whether it'd be better to just come clean and rub it off or ignore it... yep I ignored it. AWKWARD.

Dzeintra said...

First time trying it with my boyfriend at the time ...he ended up with a black eye from faulty positioning in the dark.

Anonymous said...

One drunkin night my now husband and I were enjoying being young and (more than likely) stupid. The head of our bed was pushed up against a window and when he grabbed me to pull me down on the bed I fell back and slammed my head on the window sill. The sound alone broke through his whiskey haze, but my inabliity to say the alphabet or look him in the eye freaked him out. Because I refused to go to the hospital, he went and called my mother...a Nurse Practitioner. I then spent the next 10 minutes answering questions before it was decided I did not need to go to the ER. So double whammy...I got a concusion and the embarrassment of calling my mother for a sex related issue. Third whammy? I had a three day headache and my guy was treated me like glass for several weeks. My mother still enjoys telling this story.