Monday, December 12, 2011

The Southern Girlfriend

I may be Southern, but I'm one'a dem progressive Southerners.  Ya know, a pro-choice, pro-gay rights, Obama-sticker-toting, severely-lapsed Christian, progressive Southern. I thought I knew SO much about the world and was just too cool for my little red state. While these things may be true (hehe), my adventures with these West Coaster DIW girls have taught me something - I'll always be a Southerner. And really, that's okay. I'll have manners, respect, domestic skills, high expectations, and other pros and cons that we're prone to. However, as the sweet Serial Monogamist recently pointed out to me, I'm also a Southern Girlfriend.

Southern Girlfriend noun : A female from the Southern United States who, once in a monogamous relationship, shows a different side of her personality that exaggerates any tendencies toward bossiness, neediness, and short tempers.

I will admit that when SM called me this, it was kind of a shock. In fact, I was a mite offended once I realized what she was saying. I'd never heard this term, and I suspect she made it up, but I get it. I'd been snuggling with my dude after a hard day, letting him dote on me, and drinking it up. But in the meantime, I'd made sure he'd called his mother. And then I made sure he washed his hands before dinner (In fairness, he'd been rubbing my feet.). And then I used a baby voice for no apparent reason. And then I asked him to get me a drink. And then I pouted when he said something negative. And then I asked him to do something that I should've gotten up and done myself.

WHO AM I? What kind of person does this? Especially a person like me who never asks for help! This is the same boyfriend who I wouldn't let drive me (four hours) to the airport, and fussed at me for never asking for assistance. And SM was the one who told me that I should let my wonderful boyfriend do sweet things for me. So, is it the big shit that I'm against, but I can revel in the little things? Is it harder to say "no" in person?

Regardless, here's the great part of being Southern - if you find a Southern boy, he expects a strong woman and knows how to please her. Southern folks come from strong Southern mommas who rear great Southern men (and women). We like to be handy and helpful and to make others happy. I would argue that we really do have the last bastions of gentlemen and ladies who would do anything for the ones we love, and a hell of a lot even for a stranger on the street. Don't believe me? Ask SM - she fell hook, line, and sinker for a handsome, blue-eyed boy with a sweet Southern accent and a heart that will do anything for her. And his momma.

31 comments:

"Slightly Disheveled" said...

My fiancee (yes, you read that right)is also a southern boy. Hooray for guys that open doors... even car doors... for their ladyfriends. I'd rather have a southern boy than any other type of boy. Even if we have to put up with all the "y'all" ...which sits on me wrong beause I still think that it sounds trashy.

Pen Pal said...

Well, you have to be true to yourself, wherever you come from, that's the thing.

carey said...

yes i agree. southern people are nice.

Posedex said...

I agree with your views about southern dating...

sexdating said...

Thanks for the marvelous posting! I definitely enjoyed reading it, you happen to be a great author.I will be sure to bookmark your blog and will eventually come back later in life. I want to encourage you to definitely continue your great posts, have a nice morning!

Rob Morgan said...

I find this very interesting, I am British and although we live in a very small country compare to the USA, there is still a sort of friendly, fun divide between the north and south...even when it comes to dating...!

online dating forum said...

Hmm what's SM for? Anyway that's always funny to compare southern people to northern ones.

Treasia said...

I'm a southern lady myself and wouldn't change it if I could. I am glad I've found your blog and can't wait to read more.

If you have time come and visit my new blog about a Trio of ladies who are dating once again and sharing a home together.

How to break up with someone said...

Interesting post my friend

Anonymous said...

Keep up the good blogging! Much appreciated..

Ms Demeanors said...

Charming - and also true in other countries...

Parents Dating said...

The experience I have with southern woman is quite different. Southern women are usually difficult to win over, if you are not accept, they can be very cruel..... but they always like to look pretty, usually take care of themselves.

Leeds Escorts said...

It was a perfect dating blog, Beautifully written and nice configured.

Anonymous said...

I have been reading the posts, and I pretty much agree with what Mary said.

Velma Shaw said...

Well, I am a southern lady and my husband is a southern man, but I would like to say thanks for the compliment on southerners but there are so many weird, and crazy southerners without any hospitality or integrity. My suggestion watch out.

Bomb said...

Interesting. So you said that Southern girls act this way in relationships, but up until that point is the dynamic a simpler man=leader dynamic?

amy said...

i think the key into a successful date is to be yourself. no matter you are from the south or not. by ht way i enjoy your article.

christiandatingames said...

Having grown up in the south I can completely relate to this blog. I think many southern men will not be happy without a southern woman - while I'm with you, a bit more progressive thinking, I have noticed that dating women from the north in particular can be quite different and challenging - not necessarily in the good way. However, I've found nice people from everywhere and interestingly enough some of the most genuine people I've met have been from out west. Which brings me to what I think has always been my complaint about some southern girls: they smile to your face and hate you behind your back. Not all of course but when it happens it leaves a bad taste in your mouth that won't go away.

Tyler Texan said...

I'm a southern girl and Love dating chivalrous southern guys. You can't beat a guy who opens the doors, walks you to your car and kisses you good night under the stars, where they shine big and bright (clap clap clap) deep in the heart of Texas!

Anonymous said...

Oh crap, I think I'm a Southern Girlfriend. I turn into said definition when dating someone. My entire family is of the rare Southern Liberal breed but my problem is that my generation was displaced to Florida and Florida is full of people from all over. Maybe my problem is that I need a proper southern man to date. :O Wherever will I find one...

Anonymous said...

" I would argue that we really do have the last bastions of gentlemen and ladies who would do anything for the ones we love,"

You'd be wrong, but not as far off as you should be, its sad.

keemaya said...

this blog was well written and i am happy to read this its very well explained about the southern date and the way southern girls react. but a successful date means to be yourself at that moment it does not matter that you are from which state or city. it has been seen that the southern man love to date with strong and beautiful girls but it does not matter for those who really want a true date.

Jianna Gonzalez said...

Thanks for sharing the knoweldge.

GinaG said...

Hahaa! This is hilarious. Apparently being a Southern Girlfriend is the same as being a Russian Girlfriend!

GinaG said...

Hahaa! This is hilarious. Apparently being a Southern Girlfriend is the same as being a Russian Girlfriend!

How To Get A Girlfriend said...

Like your blog it's really good information.
Thanks

Megan Jones said...

I was born and raised in the Northwest and we definitely have a dating style as well. Northwest dating is much like people and their dogs. You start to look, act and sound like each other the longer you are together. Gender roles are quite fluid up here and couples just kind of morph into each other!

Dating Seekers said...

Great post. I agree with your views as well on Southern girls and the guys as well .

social networking statistics said...

I like this article!!!! So interesting

african girl said...

I agree to the most commenter that southern people are so nice. In fact, I met someone who seems to be a friend of mine and he is so caring and very sweet.

Just be true to yourself and let it be. Whatever happens let God guide you.

Brody said...

This post reminds me of the movie "Two Moon Junction". Great quote from the movie: "Darlin', don't ever take a southern girl for granted."