Monday, July 13, 2009

A Note on International Dating & Sex

I'm currently traveling for the summer. I'm in the south of France at the moment but spent a longish weekend in England before arriving. I'm in no way an expert on anything, much less dating, but here are some observations so far:

1. Sluts dress the same whether you're in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin or Marseille, France. You can spot 'em a block away. Way too much skin showing, bold colors that foreshadow the fruity drinks she's probably going to vomit later, and a slight wobble when she walks because the high heels are far too big. There must be a Sluts 'R Us store that no one informed me of.

2. If you don't look like the woman above and a guy wants to hit on you, he has to be cool about it. Or so he thinks. Here's some lines so far:

a. You should come and live in Marseille. You can work for me, help me with the other guests. It's good. I'm not hitting on you. You're like a sister to me. You live here and we'll have a good time. You and me. You're very beautiful. Like a sister.

He said this while stroking my upper arm. I about barfed on him, but luckily another guest came in and I jumped up to offer my seat.

b. I love Americans. I am not like the other French people. They hate you. Not me. I love you. You should come home with me. I will show you why the French are the best lovers.

Two points for boldness. Negative eight million for creepiness, bad teeth, obvious signs of STDs, too much cologne, etc. al.

3. French teens are sexually advanced. And open about it. I was sitting at the beach, waiting for some other travelers whom I had come with, when a pqck of 11 - 13 year olds approached. We chatted for a bit and one of the other travelers arrived. We continued talking to them, but the conversation turned immediately to sex. They asked us if we were dating, if we had kissed, if we'd done it, etc. al. They then began to insist that he and I kiss in front of them. It got to the point where several were shouting at us to kiss.

One boy finally said, Why don't you take her home and just fuck her already? Thankfully I didn't know until my friend told me later. I wouldn't have second guessed slapping that kid upside the head.

I leave for Senegal and Mali at the end of the month. I'll post some observations from there. Hopefully they don't involve me drinking too much in a Muslim country and getting thrown in jail.


Anonymous said...

French teens are sexually advanced? Not supported by the evidence provided. To the contrary. Immature is closer to it.

Serial Monogamist said...

Are those french kids really all that advanced, or were they just little A-holes? I'm sure my friends and I might have fucked with a couple of tourists similarly, given the opportunity.

LaMo said...

You don't want to go to jail in a Muslim country? Fucking pansy.

Anonymous said...

French teens are sexually advanced? Wait! Is there something you're not telling us about your interactions with them? C'mon, spill it!

Anonymous said...

Wait, obvious signs of STDs? Like what?