Wednesday, March 23, 2011

What do I wear... to my breakup?

So the time has come to break it off. It's just not really going anywhere and the promises given in the first month have been falling off slowly. His drinking is getting worse (the "side effects" as well) and he's a chain smoker. His "mask" is slipping a little too much for my taste. I digress.

So, it's time to break it off and all I am really wondering about is the actual break-up scene, and specifically: what I should be wearing. I'm trying my best to make this into something deeply psychological, but it isn't. I'm trying to make this as tasteful as possible because he's been drunk texting me some horrible things and I really don't want to bring them up at the break-up. I just want to meet with him in person (respectful) and tell him that it isn't working out (clear). Every time I play the scene out in my head though, my outfit changes. One part of me wants to dress like the total psycho that he wishes I would act more like (making it easier for him to psychologically dump ME) and one part of me REALLY wants to show up in business attire and slap a home run.

This is pretty much the shallowest possible reaction to this scenario. I know. The thing of it is, I'm really kind of a clothes person and can't get away from the theater aspects of a possibly psychologically explosive scene. When I play it back in my head later, I don't want there to be any possible way that I could have diffused the situation any more. He and I are both kind of "dramatic" and I am swearing to you, gentle reader, that I will be on my very best behavior.

So: I'm leaning towards the professional attire and the "I am a more mature person than you are and you're not going to drag me into your personal hell anymore." I can't believe that I'm actually considering dressing up all artsy and giving him extra credit for the cognitive dissonance caused by my words versus my outfit.

Or should I just let him wonder and not even give him the satisfaction of a break up?

10 comments:

Lifebeginsat30ty said...

I say show up how he normally sees you. The power suit or the 'outfit' are all comfort trappings. It'll be less dramatic if you make it so. Break-ups are so sucky. Good luck!

Serial Monogamist said...

For some reason, I'm envisioning a chaste cashmere sweater, pearls, a short skirt and boots.

But maybe that's just me. I don't know what the weather's like where you are though ...

However you go, I'd say boots are a must.

"Slightly Disheveled" said...

...walkin' boots?

andrea said...

o.m.g. This sounds almost EXACTLY what happened to me a couple months ago. I actually wondered: should I look casual and laid back so that he knows I'm sorry for breaking up with him, or should I go all cute like I usually am so that I can slap him in the face with how awesome I look and make him fell even worse about all the mistakes he made?

I actually didn't think it mattered in the end because whatever clothes I was wearing were hidden under my coat because his place is damn cold! Plus, since I'd just showered, I wore a hat. It was kind of unlike me...it did kind of say "I don't care enough to dry my hair" but that could have been taken one of two ways.

I'd say as lifebeginsat30ty that you should go how you usually dress around him.

Good luck. I've totally been there.

Kold_Kadavr_flatliner said...

God blessa youse -Fr. Sarducci, ol SNL

AS said...

Breaking up with someone is not a nice act in itself so wear whatever makes you feel good -the outfit that boosts your confidence and make you feel super attractive. You asked whether you should leave him wondering... My advice don't, just get it over and done with - full closure and move on upwards. Good luck!

Thee Rakish Lass said...

I've never worn anything specific, but for some reason I have a sick compulsion to bring sweets to a breakup. One time it was brownies, another it was Lambic. They never accept seconds...

James said...

I've never heard of someone putting so much thought into what to wear to a break-up. I personally would go with the business look though.

Joanne said...

Turn up in something that will stand out, go in something hot, make him sweat and worry about what he has lost!!!!!

DatingDisaster said...

I say go business! It will send the message that you are professional and want this to just go away.