On or Off?

***GUEST POST!!***

Hope y'all enjoy this post from a guest I'm calling the Divine Miss M.

Take care, and HAPPY DATING!

So I signed up for an online dating site because it has been forever since I had a good date. I have a pretty hefty screening process and after almost two weeks of being on the site, met someone in person from the site for drinks. He was cute, took me to drinks and we talked for hours. I was unsure if he was just being nice but he ended up calling me the next day to ask me to dinner.. a place that we had mentioned at drinks and I said I had never been. How cute and thoughtful. We saw each other almost every other day, planned the next date before saying goodbye. We did nice dinners, drinks, movies, and he made me a fantastic dinner at his place. I felt like this guy could be the guy I bring to the two summer weddings I am going to... I felt comfortable enough to invite him over for Easter dinner, and he happily accepted.

However, one night, while he was going downtown (and he had proven himself quite adept), I was a little uncomfortable and wanted him to take it easy. You would have thought I just told him he was the most foul man I ever met. He was so upset that he turned away from me and completely ignored me for a good ten minutes. I tried to comfort him, I tried to play it off. I had no idea what to do. He spent the entire night going back and forth about how he ruined everything and then convincing me that he was fine when I told him I was going to go home.

We seemingly worked it out, but I noticed other things: how nervous he was that I would not like something he did or the food he made or the movie he picked. I felt slightly nervous myself because things were going well but I have a tendency to pick at little things so maybe I was making too big a deal out of his insecurity issues. I decided that we all have issues and we could work through it.

He did not feel the same. We took a little road trip to a place we both wanted to go and on the hour and a half drive home, he told me two things: that he was falling for me and that he could not be my boyfriend because he was not stable enough.

I felt completely heartbroken... and completely trapped in his car for a whole other hour! I cried and tried to tell him that we could work through issues and everyone had insecurities, etc. Apparently, I did not convince him because he dropped me off at my house and parked on the street so as not to disturb the people I live with. Then he told me "not to delete his number". What does that mean? I am not going to be waiting around for his phone call even though he's insisting that he is crazy about me and just has to work on himself. Though, it is impossible not to think I failed somewhere along the line here. How did we go from truly clicking in every sense of the word to a complete disaster where I walked down the street in the pouring rain to my house in a dress that was supposed to get me LUCKY, and not dumped!?

Now, I will never experience fondue the same way again, and I cannot wear that dress again without thinking how sad that night was.

So, now I just wonder how long does it take to "fix yourself"?