Howdy, dear daters!
It's been a while, but hopefully all is well in your love lives. I'm bringing you a guest submission from a sweet friend and reader who has a unique and perplexing situation on his hands. Here's hoping that one of you can give him a hand, so to speak.
HAPPY DATING!!
An odd situation arose in the bedroom for me the other day. My current girlfriend of a considerable amount of time and I were being intimate when I removed her shirt to find that she was wearing a brightly-colored, uniquely-styled sports bra that an ex of mine also owned. Naturally, I had also removed this same bra from my ex, and had some interesting thoughts running through my head in that instant. Not wanting to spoil the moment, I managed to carry on as if nothing was amiss. Needless to say (which is a phrase I hate hearing and hate using even more), I was a bit distracted by this revelation and proceeded to last a bit longer than I may otherwise have. This was greeted with delighted and repeated satisfaction by my love.
Though I was not specifically imagining that I was having sex with my ex, thoughts of her were on my mind while my current and I were engaging. I felt a little odd about this and thought I might share it with you, dearly beloved DIW community. I cannot simply ignore it, as I am certain that one day soon she will wear this same bra as we begin seduction and the same situation will play out. Not that it wasn't enjoyable for me to please my miss well, but the circumstances made me feel less than wholesome about it.
Should I surreptitiously dispose of this undergarment and be done with it? (Here I must add that my relationship with my ex was painful, tumultuous, passionate, all-consuming, and ultimately self-destructive. In addition, my current has some irrational hang-ups about my ex, a person she has never met and whom I have nothing to do with.) Please help, dear daters.
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19 comments:
I don't know if I think you should ditch the bra. I mean, it's currently making your lady happy, and what's the harm in that? Eventually, your new memories with the bra will overtake the old.
There's one thing I feel very strongly about though: Do not - I repeat - do NOT - mention this bra situation to your current girlfriend. Especially the part about lasting longer because of it. If she already has hang-ups about the ex, this won't help. A-tall.
As the commenter above mentioned, whatever you do don't tell your girlfriend about exactly why you lasted longer than usual....let her remain blissfully unaware.
If it were me I'd wait and see whether this becomes a regular problem or not. It wouldn't be too hard to get rid of it if it's causing that much of a problem, but that's definitely a last resort!
Interesting way of thinking. And yes, i must agree that you should not mention bra situation.
Don't ditch the bra, and DON'T tell your girlfriend about it either. She will wonder how many times you thought of your ex during sex (which is true) and that the sex was better because of it (which is also true) but she will think it is because you were more turned on thinking of your ex. No win here.
I say embrace the bra! Every time she wears it, thank your ex for enabling you to have great sex with your girlfriend!
Don't ditch the bra, and DON'T tell your girlfriend about it either. She will wonder how many times you thought of your ex during sex (which is true) and that the sex was better because of it (which is also true) but she will think it is because you were more turned on thinking of your ex. No win here.
I say embrace the bra! Every time she wears it, thank your ex for enabling you to have great sex with your girlfriend!
My advice is not to say anything to your girlfriend ...
Love is a special feeling that just comes once in anyone's life. Relationship stands with trust. But i guess in your situation you should not mention bra.
There is no need to feel guilty about your current situation with your present girlfriend.If this familiar lingerie creates more passion with your present girlfriend let it be your secret.The fact that the present one still feel suspicious about the ex-girlfriend is the indication as to remain quiet about it, it would only make things uncomfortable between you and the present girlfriend.You love the present one for more than just the lingerie,she has different qualities from your ex-girlfriend that is special and endearing to you.
Who are you?? Because you sound shockingly like my ex - right down the sports bra and the description of the relationship. Are you A? Because I'm B.
Don't tell girlfriend about the bra, that will do nothing but hurt her. I would say enjoy the reminiscing that the bra might provide.
Well, that is not a situation I would have ever thought about, but I can see why that would be confusing for you, especially with your current girlfriend's apparent hang up on your ex. I think I disagree with everyone else here though because I think you should just tell your girlfriend that that particular bra is hard for you to see her in because your ex had the same one. You don't have to say anything about the sex or anything, but you shouldn't have to swallow your feelings about how the bra makes you uncomfortable; that seems unfair to you. Just a thought.
Don't ditch the bra. It's not yours. Bras are expensive, and comfortable ones can be hard to find. If you ditch it without consent, then you have stolen a piece of your girlfriend's property. If you have an issue with it either ignore it or tell her you don't care for that style of bra so she can decide whether to wear other ones around you or to take off her own bra when she takes off her shirt or what. Or you can compliment her when she is wearing some other bra that looks quite different and tell her you really like how she looks in that color or style to encourage her to wear a different type when she's expecting you to see it.
interesting , Just don't or ever mentioned to your current girlfriend now that she wares same bra like your X ware , she might get offended about it.
You have to realize that if your relationship with your ex was so uneasy, chances that this is anything deep seeded are low. It's the memory that turned you on, which makes sense because it's erotic imagery. Say you had an arrant memory of this bra on you ex in a different setting, it would probably have aroused you no matter what you were doing. Since you were already in the act it just added excitement. Your girlfriend doesn't need to know because while logically it meant nothing other than you're a sexual being, she may feel emotionally uneasy about it.
As a woman, I have to say do NOT tell her that is why you lasted so long in bed... just tell her you masturbated or something. But next time she wears the bra, make an offhand comment like "huh, those must be pretty popular, my ex had one just like it" and chances are she'll ditch the bra herself. Just do it after sex, not before or during, or when she's putting it on in the morning. Just whatever you do, again, do not mention that it makes you think of your ex and made you last longer.
Very interesting post and comments. i am glad i stumbled upon your post.Although my opinion may differ from most, I believe that it would be unhealthy for the relationship if the issue about the lingerie is kept. Discuss with your girlfriend anything that's bothering you. Focus on the source(bra) but don't forget to assure her that it has nothing to do with her.
there's no need to tell your girlfriend about it.. but why don't you get really passionate and tear the bra yourself while having some ride!!! ;) it'll turn on your girl n will also let you get rid of the bra
I think you that you can talk about the bra but in a funny way so the girl will find it more fun to talk about it and you will relief to say your opinion at the end.
If the your new girl friend's bra makes you think of your ex girl friend then definitely tell your new girl friend that here bra is just like one your ex had. I know I wouldn't want to be wearing a pair of underwear that reminded the girl I was dating about her ex, good bad or indifferent!
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