I am happy to say that I am seeing a card-carrying member of the Human Race now. New One and I went to the Apple Store last night and bought a computer for him. That's not what this is about, though. This is about the unwelcome drunk texts I got from a previous fling-guy this past weekend.
(FRIDAY/SATURDAY 2:00 A.M.)
HIM: Are U in?
ME: Functionally asleep. Goodnight. Been lights-out for almost an hour now.
HIM: What floor are you on again?
ME: Shuddap.
HIM: But I am in the elevator.
ME: You have a home to go to don't be weird like this.
HIM: The only weird part is that you don't want to f#ck me.
Me: You're being really weird now and by weird I mean illegal.
HIM: Okay, if U say so.
(SATURDAY/SUNDAY 2:10 A.M.)
HIM: Hi. Sex? I like it :)
(MONDAY, 6:09 P.M.)
HIM: Sorry about Saturday. I was drunk which is never an excuse! Sorry!
This evening New One and I are going to dinner and a movie. My phone will be turned off at night from now on.
Showing posts with label twitterpation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label twitterpation. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Friday, September 25, 2009
Things I learned the hard way
- Taking relationships slow is rarely regrettable. OK, there was that one time that you took things slow and the potential love of your life got hit by a car before you got a chance to see where things were going, but other than that? Draw out twitterpation. It's good for the soul.
- Just because your mom wants you to ask your boyfriend to be in the family Olan Mills photos she's scheduling doesn't mean you should ask him.
- If you're going to plan a vacation to Mexico with a new boyfriend and his family, be sure you're comfortable enough to ask them if you can stop at the store for some anti-diarrheal medication. You also might want to be sure you can handle a surf-related wardrobe malfunction in front of his dad. Especially if you're not so good at ducking waves (Note to non-Pacific NW readers: People from Oregon don't usually swim in the Ocean, it's too effing cold. So that whole counter-intuitive dive into the wave to avoid getting smashed by it thing? Some of us missed that lesson.)
C'mon readers. What did you learn the hard way?
- Just because your mom wants you to ask your boyfriend to be in the family Olan Mills photos she's scheduling doesn't mean you should ask him.
- If you're going to plan a vacation to Mexico with a new boyfriend and his family, be sure you're comfortable enough to ask them if you can stop at the store for some anti-diarrheal medication. You also might want to be sure you can handle a surf-related wardrobe malfunction in front of his dad. Especially if you're not so good at ducking waves (Note to non-Pacific NW readers: People from Oregon don't usually swim in the Ocean, it's too effing cold. So that whole counter-intuitive dive into the wave to avoid getting smashed by it thing? Some of us missed that lesson.)
C'mon readers. What did you learn the hard way?
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