Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Captain Obvious

I am happy to say that I am seeing a card-carrying member of the Human Race now. New One and I went to the Apple Store last night and bought a computer for him. That's not what this is about, though. This is about the unwelcome drunk texts I got from a previous fling-guy this past weekend.


(FRIDAY/SATURDAY 2:00 A.M.)

HIM: Are U in?

ME: Functionally asleep. Goodnight. Been lights-out for almost an hour now.

HIM: What floor are you on again?

ME: Shuddap.

HIM: But I am in the elevator.

ME: You have a home to go to don't be weird like this.

HIM: The only weird part is that you don't want to f#ck me.

Me: You're being really weird now and by weird I mean illegal.

HIM: Okay, if U say so.


(SATURDAY/SUNDAY 2:10 A.M.)

HIM: Hi. Sex? I like it :)


(MONDAY, 6:09 P.M.)

HIM: Sorry about Saturday. I was drunk which is never an excuse! Sorry!


This evening New One and I are going to dinner and a movie. My phone will be turned off at night from now on.

6 comments:

Stacyonthecouch said...

At least he apoligized. But I guess that reply alone is probably why I end up with the more douchey-types.

"Slightly Disheveled" said...

That was why I included it. He somehow broke into my building and was booty call texting me from my elevator at 2 A.M. though, so he's got some issues above and beyond simple rudeness.

Miz Aventures said...

OMFG. Something similar happened to me with a firefighter that I saw twice...he was driving around my town trying to find my car, which is pretty distinguishable - at 4am! Luckily, I parked it in our alley way, and he calmed down when I told him there was no way in hell he would be seeing me that...um...morning. He also apologized and said he was drunk. (Drunk driving, folks. Beware of firemen.)

"Slightly Disheveled" said...

Drunk driving AND texting WHILE stalking. TRIFECTA!

The love guru said...

There are alot creepy weirdos out here. I say a woman shouldn't let a guy know where she lives until you have a good grasp on who that person is. Even then your still taking a chance but give it time before he comes over. Now even if you do decide to sleep with him. Get a room! At least until you figure out if he's a wierdo stalker or not!

Longdawg said...

Miz Aventures,..please dont judge all firefighters by one douche,...we are not all the same :)