Friday, September 25, 2009

Things I learned the hard way

- Taking relationships slow is rarely regrettable. OK, there was that one time that you took things slow and the potential love of your life got hit by a car before you got a chance to see where things were going, but other than that? Draw out twitterpation. It's good for the soul.

- Just because your mom wants you to ask your boyfriend to be in the family Olan Mills photos she's scheduling doesn't mean you should ask him.

- If you're going to plan a vacation to Mexico with a new boyfriend and his family, be sure you're comfortable enough to ask them if you can stop at the store for some anti-diarrheal medication. You also might want to be sure you can handle a surf-related wardrobe malfunction in front of his dad. Especially if you're not so good at ducking waves (Note to non-Pacific NW readers: People from Oregon don't usually swim in the Ocean, it's too effing cold. So that whole counter-intuitive dive into the wave to avoid getting smashed by it thing? Some of us missed that lesson.)

C'mon readers. What did you learn the hard way?

20 comments:

Serial Monogamist said...

Oh, and never, never share a checking account with your boyfriend. (Or girlfriend, I think Poster Boy would agree with me on that one).

Jules said...

His mother will never get any nicer, more accepting or less intrusive. Oh, and she'll feel free to rearrange your nightstand drawer when you're away. Yes, that nightstand drawer. Make sure you know what kind of mother-in-law you'll end up with before you commit.

"Slightly Disheveled" said...

I learned to swear in Polish so that I could explain to a guy who was stalking me exactly what I thought of him. He was extremely flattered and decided we were getting married. He started showing up at my work each day in a three-piece suit. I made sure that the Police got a translator when they arrested him.

Shiny Rod said...

I think most of us have had to learn a few of life's lessons the hard way. One thing I tell my children (now adults) is to spend time learning about that person you want to be with. Learn about their family, friends and gawd forbid even the ex's. Share those things you feel need to be shared and never lie. Be honest with your thoughts and your emotions and you will gain their trust and respect. Most of all, don't be afraid to back out of a relationship if you feel uneasy about it. Relationships are commitments as are marriages and if you are fully committed to make it work, your just asking for another of life's hard lessons. But, that's my philosophy. It works for me. Why? Because I'm taking my time to build a relationship and make sure it works for us both. See, I can comment without referencing my sexual prowess.

Polly Syllabick said...

You should shave those netherparts daily, or at least every other day. Because the ONE time you let it grow wild because you'd had a dry spell, the hottest piece of ass ever will decided he/she's goning to make their move.

Anonymous said...

S-Rod: FAIL

plumpdumpling said...

I never thought much about Olan Mills as a kid, but now that I think back, my mom thought it wise to take a couple of little kids to get our pictures taken by a guy operating out of a motel room? Surely I'm repressing terrible memories from those trips.

Shiny Rod said...

Anonymous - I'm very sure your not one of my ex's. Don't know what I did to deserve all this hate. Must have something to do with being a guy.

LaMo said...

1. If you slept with someone he knows, no matter how long ago, either tell him before his friend does, or be prepared to deal with it when it happens. Don't cross your fingers and hope it never comes up.

2. If he has a bad habit you absolutely cannot stand, like he's a cigarette smoker, don't blurt out one day during a discussion about smoking cigarettes (insert your peeve here) that you have no intention of living your life with a smoker (peeve). True or not, some things are better left unsaid.

SGLoughlin said...

I learned that some of my ex's actually read this site. Oops.

Alecia said...

I've learned to believe a guy when he says something. No matter what it is. If he says, "I really just want to be friends." - he probably means, "I really just want to be friends." If he's making out with you when he says it, it means, "I really just want to be friends who make out." ... or more, of course. But I've learned on the whole to not over analyze a guy's words/actions. They're just not that deep. Or thorough. And if they act like they really don't care...they really don't care.

Anonymous said...

RE: "They're just not that deep"

I think this is a fallacy; not all men are simple, not all men are easy to understand. Some are quite complicated, and it doesn't help anyone to pretend otherwise.

Alecia said...

Anonymous... just because you're probably a swinging dick on the other side of the screen; one that chooses to hide behind .."anonymous", doesn't really mean that you're mysterious or complicated. Most men, though complicated for other reasons... aren't really meaning anything more or less than what they say to a woman. I would know, I've dated plenty of you to know that the good, but complicated are rare compared to the careless idiots.

Anonymous said...

Alecia:

Nope. Good guess, but I have a vagina, not a penis. And still, I think that men are often complicated. To say that they're simple kind of suggests that if something goes wrong in a relationship, then it's the woman's fault, because men have such simple needs and wants. I just don't buy it.

Though, obviously, the good ones try to say what they mean.

Alecia said...

Anonymous - you seriously missed the point. Also, I believe it was things that I, as in me, learned the hard way. The question went out to everyone. Feel free to share your own hard learned lesson before you decide to dictate mine. If it's MY lesson, it can't really be wrong. Especially since we're obviously dating different men. Thank God.

Anonymous said...

A: Just because it's "your" lesson doesn't mean it can't be wrong. I've learned all kinds of wrong things in my life. It's not like you're saying "I like pink" and someone else is saying, "No you don't!" You're saying that you understand men, that they're a particular way, and someone is disagreeing with you. They're allowed to do that. Don't take it so personally.

Shiny Rod said...

Alecia and Anonymous - I have to say that you both make some good points. If you look at it at the point that men can be both complicated and simple. You would have to take into fact that the situation dictates simplicity or complexity. I know somethings I say may make me seem simple, I'm not. There are layers of complexity I don't let people see. My needs are way much higher than the flesh. For some men, that is the pinnacle of their existence. I've been down that road and I don't like the bumps and turns. Is it a womans fault she falls for the simple man? Yes and no, there are a lot of wolves in sheeps clothing on both side of the fence. These are the things that lifes hard lessons teach us. We either learn from them or are doomed to repeat these mistakes over and over again. I care not to go down those roads again.

Louisa said...

Don't talk about exes! You just look bitter and not over it.

Regarding the anti-dihorrhea meds, my beloved's dad is a pharmacist, I would be happy to discuss any medication with him!

Anonymous said...

1. Never use honey or butter as lube, or anything from the kitchen, for that matter.

2. If he throws himself on the ground and has a tantrum over not knowing what to eat for dinner (and is 23 years old), it does not mean he is an "eccentric artist," it means he is not right in the the head.

Miles Long said...

Rod: "My needs are way much higher than the flesh. For some men, that is the pinnacle of their existence. I've been down that road and I don't like the bumps..."
Hopefully they were the bumps that disappear after a week or so of antibiotics.

Nony: "2. If he throws himself on the ground and has a tantrum over not knowing what to eat for dinner (and is 23 years old), it does not mean he is an "eccentric artist," it means he is not right in the the head." Wow. Wow.