Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The new cyber-bullying

I'm having mixed feelings about Craigslist lately. I mean, is anyone on Craigslist NOT a murderer anymore? Do not click these links if you're emotionally sensitive (or pregnant), but: Exhibit A. Exhibit B.

But then something comes along that reminds me that Craigslist has a higher calling. Like writing up fake craigslist ads making fun of people you don't like.

Like this. A quote:

"I'm looking for someone to be seen with. Basically.... I look amazing. You look amazing.
We look amazing together. In public. We don't have to actually do anything behind closed doors and I would prefer if we didn't.
If cleanliness is next to godliness, celibacy is next to celebrity.

1. If you use incorrect grammar, just keep your mouth closed. I don't want people to think you're just beauty. (We have to appear to be the total package)

2. You must have had an addiction to one drug at one point in time. Bonus points for H.

3. You must have fucked at least two dozen guys that are 'in a band'. Singers count as two people and if we've already fucked, I counted for twelve."

It goes on from there. It's signed "xoxo Cadaver."

So who do we think wrote this? Cadaver's ex-girlfriend? An anti-scenester? Or just some hater?


Marla said...

Ah. Too funny.

Barrett said...

Heck, I'm thinking that's a simple post trying to hit the best of Craigslist. Course it could be serious and it's just something I know nothing about. Google was nice enough to pull this up for me http://www.dobi.nu/yourscenesucks/scenequeen/index.htm

Anonymous said...

I posted a picture of my ex last week making fun of his package after I found out he cheated on me. He deserves it. It was tiny anyways...

Anonymous said...

Anon--Of course it had to be tiny for you to post it--or you would have received a ton of emails asking for his number


Anonymous said...

The cited ad is social satire, not cyber-bullying. Directed to a type, not an individual. To take it personally is sheer paranoia. Get help.

sarah said...

wow that woman who killed the pregnant woman looked insane!!! i mean she is but man oh man does she look it. as for the post, that is awesome. i wonder if he got any replies...

Serial Monogamist said...

Man, that anonymous post sounds REALLY familiar. Like an old friend.

Must be paranoia.

Luck be a lady said...

It sounds like something Korena Roberts (Exhibit B) might have written.

"Someone to be seen with" = a bloody fetus; "celibacy is next to celebrity" = I don't want to have sex and get pregnant, I just want to cut your spawn out of you; "If you use incorrect grammar, just keep your mouth closed" = I don't really want a loud, ignorant baby. A dead one will do just fine (also explaining "xoxo Cadaver").

Points 2 and 3 just illustrate how crazy she is if she thinks babies use H and fuck singers.

Anonymous said...

Haha, I know Cadaver personally, and you better believe that was a real post straight from his semi-sarcastic-but-mostly-serious mind. He loves being a parody of himself, but hey, don't you love it too?