Saturday, November 21, 2009

On kissing photos

Dear Facebook,

First, let me make it clear that I think it is gross when ANYONE posts a profile picture that features people kissing. I don't really care if people post kissing photos in albums, and it doesn't bother me when people's profile pictures include a significant other. In fact, I think that is kind of sweet. But I draw the line at kissing pictures. And I know I am not alone. A friend of mine just a few minutes ago posted a status message about how gross it was to watch people kissing in public (on a plane). No, it's not better when it is a photo instead of live.

So, Facebook, because I don't want to see kissing photos of anyone -- not newlyweds, not close friends, not my grandparents, not strangers -- no matter how attractive they are, it should come as no surprise to you that I do not want to see it when my ex-boyfriend posts a profile picture of him kissing his current girlfriend. Let me make it clear that I honestly and truthfully never think about this ex. I don't think about any of my exes, and I don't harbor any kind of feelings for any of them, negative or positive. Note that no negative feelings means I do not unfriend my exes on Facebook because that would require feelings, specifically unfriendly ones. It is possible for me to have no feelings of any sort for my exes because I don't communicate with them. At all. This method has always worked amazingly well and has made my life low on drama and heartache. Best of all, it's very easy for me.

It was also easy for me to move on. It was easy for me to get into a good relationship with someone I truly love, live with and have been with for a long time. It was easy for me to not think of my ex. However, you have caused a quandary, Facebook. Yes, I did hide his updates from appearing in my news stream so that I could continue life with the luxury of not thinking about him. But, as I explained beofre, he is still there. That means when I search my friends, sometimes I see his photo.

This brings me to yesterday, and the suddently stronger-than-usual aversion to kissing photos. My eyes registered the kissing photo, and my brain said, "hmm, that's gross, but you don't care. Why would you care? You haven't thought about him for a long time, and you have no ill will toward him, so it shouldn't bother you that he has a girlfriend. Who he is kissing. In his Facebook profile picture. ... What are you doing? Why are you clicking on it? Now you're going to see his whole profile, you idiot! What?! You're clicking it again so you can see a bigger version of it? Why? Why would you ... huh, he still lives in that same crappy apartment. Close this page! Good job."

So, you see, Facebook, you are messing up my whole strategy. Of course, that was yesterday and this is today. Today, I don't care about the ex-boyfriend-kissing-new-girlfriend photo. (Did I ever?) Of course, I'm not looking at it right now either. Why am I not looking at it? Because photos of people kissing being put as their Facebook profile pictures is GROSS, and that is really all I was trying to say. Really.

Get a Room Or Stop Snogging


Anna Marie said...

Hahaha. I agree. Kissing photos as profile pictures is a bit ridiculous. I also hate when people update their status on FB with like "BEING IN LOVE IS SO GREAT! JUST MADE DINNER WITH THE HUBZ"

I hope when I get married I never refer to my husband as hubby or hubs or any other derivative like that.

Glad you're grossed out too.

kate said...

I dated this one guy a few years ago and thought that things were going pretty well until I saw his "relationship status" update from "single" to "engaged" along with a link to their wedding website that his finace created telling all about how they had been happily dating for four years and were thrilled to announce that they were expecting their first child. Oh, facebook...the things that you do.

Rose said...

I agree about your "kissing photos" comment. I'm still adjusting to the idea of PDAs. The idea of PHOTOGRAPHING the smooch is a bit much. And when you're a "woman of a certain age" (ahem), those profile pictures with puckered lips are really *not* flattering.


Unapologetically Mundane said...

When I first moved to NYC and was so grossed out by people kissing on the subway, I thought it was just because I was in a two-year relationship with a man I didn't love and was jealous of other people's happiness. Now that I'm dating someone I couldn't be happier with, I still think it's gross to do in public. Along with holding hands, looking at each other, or sitting next to each other. All of those things are fine when WE do them, though, of course.

Getting College Girls said...

facebook is a cheeky devil, gotta watch out!

Anonymous said...

you can make it through the rain. you stand up once again on my own.