Monday, April 25, 2011

Am I crazy or is he creepy?

I can't tell. I was just sitting there, minding my business late in the week, trying very hard not to beat my head against my keyboard, when an IM popped up on my screen.

He says:
Hey! Whatre you doing?

She says:
whipping some stuff out before I get out of here
and then tomorrow's FRIDAY

He says:
Yes it is!!! WOO HOO!!!!
big plans this holiday wekend?

She says:
Oh yeah
gardening
cleaning my floors
big stuff
Actually I might spend a night in a cabin on the Waccamaw
and do some kayaking
so that'll be good
Oh, you know, and being pious, of course
You?

He says:
LOL>...of course!!!
well...I cleaned floors last weekend so thais done...YEAH!!!
a little golf Frdiay and Saturday mongings...

She says:
Oh nice

He says:
and I do have to clean out the garage one day...BOOOOO

She says:
I hate chores

He says:
me too...

She says:
Why did I think they'd go away when I grew up?
I think I need to have kids. Make them start doing some dishes.

He says:
they just get more and more and more

She says:
srrsly

He says:
we need FUN in our life...hhhmmmmm


This is where I start to feel squeamish. I mean, OK. I like fun. But that long "hhhmmmmmm" felt like a hot breath across a phone line, right? That's not fun. It certainly ain't sexy. So I tried to keep it light and jokey. I figure, can't we all agree that work sucks, eh? Eh?

She says:
Oh, what, like work isn't FUN for you?
It doesn't bring you enough JOYJOYJOY?

He says:
there you go again..scarcasim...I LOVE IT!

She says:
I just can't help it
I'm glad someone around here appreciates it

He says:
I do...let it FLY!!!

She says:
ha
I still have to figure out different types of humor.
Not everyone thinks I'm hilarious, apparently.

He says:
i find you hilarous and interesting...


I don't want bald, married guys my dad's age to find me interesting. Especially if they can't spell for shit. Again, I retort with a joke.

She says:
Me, too!
That's why we get along


There's a pause, so I think it's over. Oh, no.

He says:
so.,...
tell me something unique


Um, what? Is this how old people flirt? Is he that bored? I hardly know this guy. He works in a different building. (I think his WIFE works in my building though.) Are we all of a sudden on Match.com? I play it safe by playing stupid.

She says:
??


He says:
lol
see...you haven't figured me out yet...I am haviong a tought ime with an outage over here and thoiught I would settle my stress by being silly wiht you
sorry

She says:
ahhhhh
I'm slow sometimes

He says:
not a problem...



OK, DIW. What is this? Am I being paranoid? Is he just so well-meaning and innocent and I'm the one projecting? Should I avoid this guy?

7 comments:

kinard. said...

I'm thinking that yes, this man is flirting, and he's creeptastic, and you should avoid. AVOID.

I dunno if he's serious, but I'm creeped. Shouldn't that be enough?

Stina said...

Definitely seems a bit creepy to me. I've avoided people who've had very similar conversations with me, and I've yet to regret that.

Lifebeginsat30ty said...

Avoid avoid avoid! I can feel my skin crawling over the interwebs :P

Jolly Old England said...

As a man, I can confirm he was "building up to something naughty" (my quotes). I don't think you're being paranoid... I like the comment about Match.com, brought back some happy (??) memories.

Serial Monogamist said...

Thanks guys! I'll keep my distance. Here's the extra sketchy part: I think he's going to this huge out-of-town conference I have coming up.

I should bring my mace.

Unapologetically Mundane said...

Oh, before I saw it was you posting this, I figured this was some other young thing purposely flirting with this older, marrieder man. Like you really had met on Match or something. Now that I know the facts–RUN.

S.G.Loughlin said...

This sounds like cigarette from oh so long ago...Remember that guy? Awkward creepiness all rolled into one fantastic corn-dog of yuck.