Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Dating in the Social Networking Era

My new beau recently changed his Facebook status to "In a Relationship." The gesture, while very cute and much appreciated, was a bit weird for me for several reasons:

1. Multiple women commented on the change with notes like "lucky girl!" or "and hearts break around the nation" and "I second lucky girl!" among other flirty, innocuous compliments. I know he's a good looking dude and women hit on him wherever he goes, I just didn't realize he had fans around the nation waiting in line..

2. My status is and will remain "Whatever I can get" as that option no longer exists for new Facebookers. Having joined this little social networking phenomenon when it was open only to college students, I was given that option in my relationship status choices and me being me, will now and forever be looking for whatever I can get. (Note: it's actually one of the few things in my life that even remotely resembles a trophy case...unless you were around in the beginning, you can never have that status. I was, therefore I do, in your face! Yes, stupid and immature and awesome. Whatever.)

But this is the first time that I've ever been in an actual relationship while on Facebook, and so is there some sort of dating rule about updating your social networking relationship status? Am I inadvertently sending a message about my feelings by NOT updating? The whole thing weirds me out a little.

3. His sister, who is NOT on Facebook, texted him a few days later to tell him she heard about his relationship status update. What? Really?

I talked to him about it, mostly to let him know that while I'm very much into him, I won't be changing my relationship status. Thankfully, he was alright with that.


Serial Monogamist said...


Also fun: De-friending a hookup that went south. Old facebook's decision to post a tiny broken heart next to your name when you updated your status to "single."

Jayhoo said...

Facebook is full of "highschool" ick. The one I like right now is watching current honey's ex adding my old interests and leaving cute little notes. Ick ick ick. One the one hand there is the urge to warn..."no NOT him"...but that looks a little possessive and jealous now doesn't it? Nothing makes dating in a small town smaller than facebook.

LaMo said...

I think if a boy understands your reasons for keeping your original status, than you should continue your widespread "you can't have it," to new FBers.
Anyway, if he were the type of guy to take your Facebook status seriously and request that you change it, well, I'd have to request you change your status of him. Luckily, it seems he's more mature than "lucky girl" you.

Daniel said...

Dating in this age is getting weird... The worst part is if things go South.... de-entangling becomes a little more public...