Sunday, January 25, 2009

i'm so blue...

recently my girlfriend and i had a series of brief grope, kiss, and grind sessions. due to time and place, none of them culminated in anything other than a heightened sense of arousal. while the encounters were warm, tender and very enjoyable, the lack of a climactic finish left me with a serious case of blue balls. now, the girl fancies herself a bit of an authority on human anatomy and physiology and she immediately dismissed my uncomfortable situation by discrediting the entire existence of the blue balls phenomenon. while i respect her knowledge of all things biological, i know for a fact that blue balls happen and i assured her that should she poll other guys, they would undoubtedly confirm my belief. come on fellas, help me out. weigh in on this one.

8 comments:

dkgoodman said...

Blue balls is a real phenomenon, one which I've encountered myself. I believe it's a result of blood congestion. It can be relieved by orgasm, or simply by doing sit-ups. I prefer the former. :)

Luck be a lady said...

If blue balls was an actual phenomenon my pair would have fallen off long ago. Every man in human history has experienced the "Yes, yes, yes! No" and while it leaves one severely unsatisfied, I have never had physical pain.

I had a guy friend who was in the last throes of a romp when the girl's father walked in on them, making shocked eye contact with my friend. My friend was so concerned for the state of his testicles, though, that he pressed on to finish and explained to the girl, who was unaware until afterward that her father was in the room, that he didn't want to suffer the excruciating pain of "blue balls." She eventually accepted that as a reasonable excuse.

Blue balls doesn't exist, but it's a good excuse for continuing to fuck your partner when his/her parent is in the room.

Anonymous said...

Speaking from experience, it is real, but also easily over-hyped. (It's also slightly more generalized groin/lower abdomen discomfort even though you do feel it in the testicles).

Medically speaking, it is probably the same reason Viagra ads tell you to seek medical attention if your erection lasts for four hours (as dkgoodman notes, it's related to blood circulation/pressure).

That said, once the discomfort sets in, it's too late for ejaculation to resolve the discomfort. Likewise, you could prevent it by stopping stimulation (albeit everything is stimulating when you're a teenage boy). But personally, I think the last time I really had this experience was when I was 17 and it was quite possible to be aroused for 2-3 hours at a stretch.

If you've been macking for two-three-four hours, yeah, it could start to be an issue. But stopping is as likely as "wrapping up" to prevent onset at some point since the blood pressure is the key, not sexual discharge in and of itself.

dkgoodman said...

Wow, such cynicism. Just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean it doesn't exist. That's like saying menstrual cramps are imaginary. You could at least try googling the term before calling someone a liar.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_balls

Also, I'd say it's more "soreness" than "pain", but that's a subjective description.

dereconstructed said...

Well, I've never experienced anything more than REALLY minor discomfort. Nothing a little liquor can't cure. Turns out, now I "do" liquor exclusively!

c.vance said...

go to the bar.
pick up another bimbo.
resolve the problem.

Guilherme said...

I am quite surprised that there are men who never had blue balls.

It is not something I like to talk about with my friends, but once, I discussed the issue with Mr. Fred: after telling him I couldn't walk on the street, because my balls were about to explode, Fred told me that one time, he actually had to crawl.

It is VERY real...

Already Here said...

And you claim this is your girlfriend?

After long hours of contemplating a solution to your predicament, I've arrived at this advice: use your head, then use your hand.