Wednesday, August 26, 2009

If you're single, there's someting wrong with you

Katie Ett over at Unapologetically Mundane posted the following this week:

“More to Love” is my favourite/most hated show on television right now. I was torn between it and “NYC Prep” on the first Tuesday night it aired, but after watching 20 fat women cry nonstop for an hour, I knew I made the right choice, and I’ve been making it every week since.

I’m not a person who believes weight has anything to do with love. I’m not thin, and I’ve loved and been loved in return by all sorts of men, thin and not-thin themselves. (But mostly thin, because fat people are gross. (Kidding.)) These big-boned ladies all truly believe, though, that their one shot at love is this 26-year-old spike-haired real estate developer who likes to eat and doesn’t want a woman who watches her weight.

And they all cry about it throughout every episode. Their skinny friends get hit on at bars. They’ve never had serious boyfriends. They’ve never been on a single date. And there’s a reason for that.

If you’re single–if you’re perpetually single–and you don’t want to be, there’s something wrong with you. There, I said it. Don’t blame it on men being superficial. Blame it on you being a crappy date. Unless you live in the middle of smalltown Iowa, in which case I’m a little more sympathetic, but seriously, it’s probably still your fault, especially if you’re one of those assholes who scorns Internet dating. Whenever I hear some fat chick say, “I have no idea why I’m alone!”, I want to go through a laundry list for her, because it’s always so obvious. Even the guys who are willing to look past your weight can’t deal with your jacked-up face, your total lack of humor, your junior high vocabulary, and your skank clothes.

For instance, not a single one of the women in the two episodes of “More to Love” I’ve watched has said something funny. In fact, when Luke asks each of them in turn if they’ll wear the ring that signifies their staying on the show another week, each of them in turn says, “Of course.” I’ve been waiting for even just one of them to say “bitch, please” or fake like they don’t want it only to throw their arms around him and snatch it out of his hands a second later, but they’re all so worried about losing their “one” chance for “true” love that all behave like robots. Whiny, sobbing robots.

My boyfriend called the show depressing, but I really delight in watching these pathetic women mope around. None of them are actually the least bit interested in this guy specifically, as far as I can tell, and are only interested in him being interested in them. And he’s too pleased with the opportunity to grope 20 fatties to care. I mean, MAYBE the producers are hiding the parts where Luke and the ladies have deep, meaningful conversation about politics and religion, but it seems like the most intimate information the group has about Luke is the name of his dog.

I had a long-distance relationship like this once: the guy would want to talk about how interested he was in the sinking of the Titanic every single time he called me–I mean, he really, really loved the Titanic–and I just wanted to talk about how in love we were. But I realized I was using him, whereas these girls are planning their weddings.

And the worst part is that they make absolutely none of this secret to him. They tell him that they’d pursue their music careers if only they had better images. They tell him that they’re virgins. They tell him, “You’re my first second date.” And he uses these confidings as teachable moments where he gets to build their self-confidence by calling them sexy and telling them to believe in themselves. And they cry.

It’s pretty clear that in the end, Luke’s going to pick the thinnest/prettiest girl in the house regardless of her personality, and all the other girls who were using his choosing her as sole proof that there’s hope for fat girls are going to kill themselves.

I finally asked my boyfriend why I’ve been able to find love when these women haven’t, and he said, “Because you’re not psychotic.” Win.



Did you catch that part, beloved DIW readers, about perpetually single folk? It bears repeating: "If you’re single–if you’re perpetually single–and you don’t want to be, there’s something wrong with you."

That's what Katie thinks. What about you, is there something wrong with perpetually single folk?

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

On a technical note, robots that are whiny and sobby would probably rust themselves, therefore making them useless.

On a related note, these whiny, sobby women seem pretty useless (all humorless humor aside).

Shiny Rod said...

I'm single but it is a temporary situation. I don't have problems finding a date or starting a relationship even at 50. Even my ex's want me back.

Luck be a lady said...

...

f1trey said...

If you are going to use a reality show (which is fake) to compare what your real life dating world would should could be like...you need some help.

Christine said...

I agree with you 100%. I have seen every shape and size in good relationships. However, if you are in your 20s or 30s and have never had a relationship, it is time to reflect what the hell are you doing wrong. One would think if they blame the weight they would...i don't know...go on a freakin diet?! But maybe then they would no longer have that excuse as to why they are alone.

brian t said...

The thing I've noticed about weight is: it can be both the cause AND the effect of being single. It's not simply a cause, as in "I'm single because I'm fat". I've had weight problems before, and they had a lot to do with eating habits, portion sizes, etc. These can get out of wack if you don't have someone else in your life to ask "are you really going to eat the whole thing?"! Ditto for clothing, hygiene, etc - someone to tell you "NO".

So I tend to agree with the original posting, in that weight is not the primary reason why many people are single; other personality problems also come in to it, as well as general intelligence and self-awareness. (Are you smart enough to work out (or look up) your Body Mass Index, know what that means, and do something about it?) I don't mind partners with SOME extra weight, but if it's bad enough to affect your health, it's too much for me.

Anonymous said...

I love what assholes DIW readers are. Barely a post goes by in which someone isn't called a piece of shit, or an alcoholic, or a slut, or told they need help.

Thanks, Trey, for keeping up the tradition.

Eli said...

If you like "MORE TO LOVE", you'll LOVE ...

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/14ae2e58c8/fat-girls-by-eli-braden

HA HA HA - ENJOY! Thanks - Have a great day

GMB said...

This is by far the most hilarious and true post I've seen in a long time. What's funny is that these women who are all relatively large in stature, think they're the only ones that have image problems. Get the fuck over it. We all do, yet some how, somewhere in the back of our brains we get a grip. I've realized over the years that men do not look at me the way I look at myself. Men are actually a lot less superficial when it comes to how I look. What it comes down to is the ability to function in a social setting. Are you nice? Are you funny? Do you put off, "Don't fuck with me vibes?" I mean, like Kate said, recognize what YOU'RE doing or NOT doing in the situation. If you never put yourself out there, then you can't blame anyone else for not being noticed.

Also...Luke is a total douchebag and his dick is probably curled up inside his own chunk. He's such a shmooze you can just tell he's used to selling big, useless, expensive shit. Like himself.

Said it.

plumpdumpling said...

OMG, Serial, what happened here? I only managed to offend one person?

Or are all of the single people who should be offended by this too busy crying themselves to sleep to argue?

dkgoodman said...

Suppose some guy started a service where, for $50, he'll give a woman a short interview and then tell her all the reasons why she can't get a date. I'm betting that the women who would use that service, don't need it, and the women who do need it wouldn't use it. What do you think? The next money-making opportunity?

Serial Monogamist said...

Plumpdump:

It actually make sense that DIW readers didn't hate this. They're all jerks (including misself) ... and anyway, you maligned so many varied folk, most of us were able to justify ourselves out of counting. "Oh, she's not talking about me, I'm not THAT fat/crazy/delusional/perpetually single.

But someone did sort of suggest you need therapy, so you got that going for you!

Anonymous said...

No, Cereal, not true!...you're not a jerk, and IW definitely isn't, far from it! In fact...

Jules said...

Most of the perpetually single girls I know are that way because they are needy bitches who regard a relationship as some sort of entitlement due to their narcissistic generation, rather than a state of being that is the product of work, compromise, true affection and at least a degree of selflessness. This seems true regardless of size or color or any other physical factor, through for truly morbidly obese women, there is surely some psychological disconnect that takes place to allow that level of unhealthiness, that level of using food to compensate for ... something.

That being said, (moderately) fat girls tend to see themselves in a far worse light than most men who would be worth dating. My hips are round, sure, but when they're swinging, that's all he sees.

Anonymous said...

good comments jules, though a tad preachy. it's also true that pudgy girls tend to justify and gloss over their weight problems, as you have done.

Anonymous said...

RE: last anonymous

Round hips = a weight problem? Fuck yourself. Women are supposed to have round hips, douchebag.

Tracey said...

I'm just weirded out that so many of the early comments suggest that the women on the show need to go on a diet and lose weight to fix their confidence problems, somehow confirming that fat and dating aren't compatible. I read this post as pointing out that fat actually has nothing to do with it.

Jules said...

Who's justifying, Anon.? I'm just saying there's more to attraction than size, and for many men, appearance isn't the only factor.

Anonymous said...

Wait, the first person in the thread to suggest a diet says they might diet "if they blame the weight" for their problems.

How does that say that fat and dating aren't compatible?

Mike Lowrey said...

Lol, Sure Dating can be weird...that is if your not doing it right.

If you do it right, well it can be very, very fun and exciting.

I'm single because I choose to be.
I've declined at least 7 marraige offers from women I've dated over the past 12 years. So it's 100% my choice to be single.

By the way Ladies, having a boyfriend is still single.
There's no Boyfriend Checkbox on your W2 or 1040's!

Besides Ménage à trois can never be weird...wild sure...but never weird...So I've heard!

(Please note that Mike Lowrey will not Confirm or Deny that he has ever been in or participated in a Ménage à trois so ladies please stop inquiring for details, autographs, and offers for dates)

Anonymous said...

Good comments, Jules. Appearance not the only factor. But it is a factor.....and pudgy girls tend to be in state of denial on this point.

Anonymous said...

Wait, are we to assume that the anonymous posters who are dogging on women with curves are svelte men? Because American men are so much better at keeping healthy and fit?

Men get to be fat, and it's no big deal. But women? Hooboy, watch out. Not only are chubby women unattractive, but they have issues. They need therapy.

This site is so full of double standards and misogyny it's disgusting.

itinerantwoman said...

so, Jules, is one of the anonymous posters your advisor, your mentor, or what (i.e., "Good comments, Jules" x 2)?

anyway, i've been fatter; i've been thinner. thin makes for a better, if less creative wardrobe, but it's never made any difference in the number of dates i went on.

i'm just delighted that some anonymous soul thinks i'm not a jerk, in fact ...