Sunday, September 13, 2009

All about ass

*** Today we have an anonymous guest post with a little (though direct) message for the fellas ***


Hey, so I just want to say, from a woman's perspective, for all the guys out there: I do not want you to put things in my ass. If I do want you to put something in my ass, I'll go ahead and tell you. Otherwise, maybe it's safe to assume that no, I do not want you to put your dick or your finger in my ass.

Seriously, every dude I'm with, when we're going at it, and I'm getting close, will grab hold of the cheeks (THIS IS GOOD!) and then a finger will wander southward. THIS IS NOT GOOD. I'm trying to focus on getting off, I do not need to be thinking, "Oh, god, is he putting his finger in my ass? What if his finger smells afterward?" It's just goddam distracting. The thing is, guys, women do not have prostates. So applying pressure to my arse doesn't feel the same for me as it does for you. Are you trying to tell me you want me to put my finger in yours when you're about to come? If so, then tell me by TELLING ME. I'll do it. No biggie. Don't tell me by sticking your finger in my pooper.

Now, I know some women are into anal. You know what though? They're into it. They'll ask for it. Or, you can ask them for it, and they'll agree to it. Don't test the waters by trying to dipstick a test run. Among other things, if you shove your peter in my crapper, you then can't stick it in my vag. There are bacteria that live in the back door that should not go to the front (this is where the whole "front to back" thing comes from).

Thank you.

20 comments:

Miss Adventures said...

some guys are so obsessed with anal...I have tried it and it's not that big a deal....

I love how direct and honest this poster was with her experience...

but I am drunk on wine so...

Shiny Rod said...

I'm strictly a vag man so I guess this doesn't apply to me. Didn't care for it when it was offered, just ain't the same for me. I'm a g-spot hunter and I have gotten very good at it. Now, for those ass bandits.Ask first, you might be surprised and if not you know what your boundaries are. Don't go poking around when and where you don't have permission. Basically, don't be anal about the anal.

The IMP said...

It's a question of manners and not beating around the bush!

Anonymous said...

You know, Rod, I'm interested to see if it's possible for you to post a comment in which you don't brag about what an amazing lover you are.

And I have to say, the really amazing lovers I've been with? They don't need to brag about it.

kate said...

There was a guy that I knew in college whom I nicknamed Sneaky McPinky for just such a reason...how I wish that I still knew how to get ahold of him so that I could send him this blog entry as a hint.

Shiny Rod said...

Anonymous - I must have pissed in your coffee. At last I checked, this is was dating comment site. Now as for me bragging, well, I don't believe I have had the pleasure of you aquaintence so I don't think you can determine if I am bragging or not. But I do think that at 51, and having travelled half way around the world does qualify me to have an opinion about my experience. Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one so why are tyring to stick your finger in mine? Beside, I'm stating a fact not bragging so what does it matter to you? Curious that of all the commentors, you attempt to get my goat. Not happening, you don't have the moxy to stand in this ring. I run in a club well above your pay grade. So stick to comments about the subject, you don't want to know me and I think it is best that way.

Anonymous said...

Obviously this anonymous girl has never gotten the shocker.... I wasn't a believer until an ex slipped one in the pink and the stink at the same time. Orgasm isn't quite sufficient for what happened next.

Anonymous said...

Rod: "But I do think that at 51, and having travelled half way around the world does qualify me to have an opinion about my experience."

Because you've been a lot of places, that means you know how well you fuck? Not picking up on that logic.

Luck be a lady said...

This confrontation makes me sad and uncomfortable.

Anonymous said...

I've had the shocker. NO THANK YOU. That's what I'm saying.

Anonymous said...

You gotta loosen up Anon. The Shocker is amazing. But maybe you're too much of a tight ass to figure it out.

Anonymous said...

Oh, come on. Does everyone has to be into every thing? Some people don't like things up their asses, that doesn't make them prudes.

Shiny Rod said...

Anonymous - I feel where your coming from and don't get me wrong, I post all over blogland and I maintain to the subject of the site and respect the level of openness the poster requires. This of course is a dating site and it is a bit more open as to what you can say.

I respect your opinion and as you can see, I am a very mature professional man who for some unforeseen circumstances has been thrown into the dating pool. I don't mind expressing a bit about myself and since the content is sexual in nature, I am only demonstrating my preferences in respect of the subject. I bid you, never underestimate a person's experience if you do not know that person on an intimate level.

Now, I may not be proud of my past promiscuity, but it is what is. But over my years, I have learned many things as well as being taught. I had some of the best teachers in the world mind you and yes, they were all women. They were not shy about telling me what they wanted and how to get them there. I was a studious learner.

Most people don't even realize the minute subtleties in the art of kissing. As well, don't confuse making love with fucking. Fucking is what rabbits do and I am not a rabbit. I'm not saying I know everything and I would be a liar if I did. You are more than welcome to email me if you wish to discuss this offline though. My email address is available from my blog site. Of all things, I am a gentleman. Maybe you could teach me something or likewise. So beit.

Anonymous said...

Dear DIW Editors. Please do not allow Shiny Rod to use the comment section as a pulpit. He has his own blog upon which he can post his inane ramblings. Thanks.

Shiny Rod said...

Anonymous - Hmmm! I must be getting under somebody's skin. So what does having my own blog have anything to do with what I post here? You made a comment to me and I responded in kind. I even offer the olive branch and said I respect your opinion. If you can't deal with my answers, then don't make comments to me. My offer still stands if you wish to discuss this offline. get to know something about me before you start passing judgment. I'm done...

Anonymous said...

Heads up Rod: The anonymous who complained about your bragging about your exploits is not the same anonymous who addressed the DIW editors.

Shiny Rod said...

Anonymous - Oh. I can handle it. My day would not be done unless I've pissed a person or two off. Thanks for the heads up though.

Serial Monogamist said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU

itinerantwoman said...

so, who cares if SR is hip to his sexual skills? i have prehensile lips (yeah, i'm braggin'), and i know it. once we reach a certain age, it's pretty clear what we're especially good at. you may be great in bed, but what you seem to need, dear SR, is a few lessons in grammar, diction, punctuation, etc. always room for improvement is my motto, eh wot?

Anonymous said...

Well said, original poster!I agree 100%