Thursday, September 3, 2009

Dear Serial: I humped my friend's husband

Dear Serial,

Apparently, a friend of mind just found out I fucked her husband. Thing is, it only happened one time, and it was years and years ago. I mean, it happened more than 10 years ago. It happened before they even got together, it was before I even got together with my now husband. Now, we’re all really good friends and have been for years, but recently, she’s saying weird stuff like, “sometimes you just wish you didn’t know things” and just being kind of strange towards me.

I told my husband about that pity-fuck years ago, he’s not upset. What should I say to my friend?

Married and not going there ever again

Dear MANGTEA (that’s kind of funny, at first when I looked at that, I thought it said Mangenta, which would clearly be a hot new color in men’s wear, much more masculine than purple),

Don’t say a thing. You did your duty and disclosed your long-forgotten pity fuck to your husband; it was pally over there’s job to tell HIS wife about any potentially-awkward fucks, oh, I dunno, maybe before they got married? That is, of course, if he was going to tell her. There’s a certain point at which, if you haven’t mentioned it already, you should just let the fuck lie.

Plus, what if you say something, and that’s not what she was talking about? Especially if he hasn’t told her? That conversation’s going to be fun. “Oh, you were talking about how you finally noticed that I dog-eared your grandmother’s copy of Gone With the Wind? Oh. Heh. Well nevermind all that about fucking your husband. Oh, and the “pity” thing? What did I mean by that? Well certainly did not mean that I’m more attractive than your husband or that he was super desperate in the period leading up to him getting with you. No. Not at all.”

Leave it be, Mangenta.



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Shiny Rod said...

I have to agree with Magenta, it was a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. Now, if he told her that that was the best fuck in his life. That may be the reason she is giving you the stink eye. What happens before she married him is of no consequence to you just because you rock his world once. That's an issue she needs to come to grips with her husband and not you and as my Italian friends always say "Don't worry bout it!"

Jules said...

That situation is totally married guy's fault. MANGTEA followed all the rules, was upfront with her own man and left the rest to her one-time fuck buddy. Not her fault if he failed to pass on the relevant info to his wife while it was still appropriate to do so. And yes, there is an appropriate time to reveal such things - it's before you get married, but after you realize that the person you slept with is likely to be a part of your circle of friends indefinitely.