Thursday, October 29, 2009


Poster Boy and I split a year and a half ago, and that's a good thing. It's been great for both of us.

The thing that still sucks though? I love his family.

The first time I met his grandmother, she walked into the room in her coordinated pantsuit, her smart black wig, giant glasses and dangling, colorful earrings and waved her cigarette at me while exclaiming in a voice that can only come from years of chain smoking, "What a pretty girl!"

How could I not fall in love?

I sent Poster Boy's family Christmas cards last year, the first Christmas in a half-decade that I wasn't with them. I've had drinks with some of them since going solo, gotten together once or twice. But I haven't heard from the grandparents (who adore their only grandson with a sweetly blind fervor) since the breakup.

So when I saw a missed call from their house on my phone last week, my heart started pounding. Shit, shit, shit. They're old, and not very healthy.

There was a voice mail. I called, my hands practically shaking, not at all willing to hear bad news about these people, who for the years I knew them were more kind to me than most of my own grandparents had ever been.

A message from poster boy's aunt:

"Hey, (Serial). I was just calling because my mom's cleaning some stuff out of the house, and she has this bear that wears costumes, and she wanted to send it to you. She said you had admired it once. So we need your address, if you send it now maybe we can get it to you in time for Halloween. Call us back here. We miss you sweetheart, hope you're doing good."

I called back, I'd missed grandma, so I left my address with grandpa. He told me how it had been a good relationship, and to keep in touch, and that they wanted me to know how much they had always liked me.

I can't wait to get that goddam bear.


hunter said...

what is this? a warm and sentimental heart beating in your typically detached and icy chest? nice job. it's wonderful when love for family, even other people's, can allow us to drop the barriers we construct around the love we feel for lovers.

Serial Monogamist said...

Serial can has feelings!

Shiny Rod said...

Thanks Serial, sometimes the tender side of things are as much of a lesson as the ugly side. It truly hows how rough break ups are even with extended family members. I still keep in contact with my ex MIL and even visit her when I am in town. Now, as for attending family functions, that would not be kosher even if you are invited.

The Duke of Ted said...

You're making me a sentimental for the extended family that isn't quite in my life anymore... call back when you get the bear and talk with Grandma, she'll be glad to hear from you.

itinerantwoman said...

i was just thinking about sending a card to the dear family of one of my exes. now i think i will.

nobody could develop as tough an exterior attitude as you/we have without having a tender heart to protect. thanks.

plumpdumpling said...

I'm gonna go ahead and pretend like I believe you really did admire that bear just to make you feel better.

Anonymous said...

get a fucking life and move on

Serial Monogamist said...

Well hello, poster boy. So charming of you to drop in.

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll take it under consideration.

Jules said...

Anonymous: You're a douche.
Shiny Rod: Go away.

Serial Monogamist said...

Oh! Anonymous wasn't Poster Boy? It was Mrs. Poster Boy! Hey Mrs. PB, I gotta news flash for ya. (Well, it's not really news. Try reading more carefully). They called me.

Also; eat shit.

Write up your alley said...

Mrs. Poster Boy: jealous much?

Sexy Sadie said...

Sooo, poster boy gottimself a real winner there, eh? How did he go from Serial to jealous moron? I almost feel bad for him. Almost.

I totally feel you on the family subject. I hope the bear lives up to your expectations.

itinerantwoman said...

jesus, there's a missus pb? judging from her refreshingly witty post, i'm not surprised the ex's fam is nostalgic about (and calling) you, serial.