Sunday, January 11, 2009

You get ONE

How I ended up in a bedroom making out with two guys is not the part of the evening I remember. It doesn't matter. These fellows were friends (of mine and with each other). Hot friends. I had a crush on one, and really wanted to be dating him.
I do remember that we got into the room and started fooling around. I tell you, it's not everyday that you've got one guy working the boobs and another making out with you. It's not the worst way to be, either.

I knew the one I didn't have a crush on had a girlfriend. Since we hung out together often, I had to deal with his certifiably crazy girlfriend on a regular basis. I did not consider her a friend. I was nice to her, though, because life is easier that way.
I also knew that she was in the other room sleeping. In my experience, if you don't want to deal with a crazy girlfriend, you let her continue to sleep. You don't wake her up to ask if you can have a threesome with her boyfriend and his frat bro.
(Yes, they were frat boys. More stereotypical beef-head football players, but whatever. They were very nice, very cute boys.)

We didn't get to the really fun stuff because we got interrupted. Apparently crazy girls sleep lightly.
She screamed crazy-girl nonsense. We listened to her scream. I put my shirt back on and we all went to leave so I could go home and the boys could get on with their evening. She slapped me once. I kind of smiled (I'd been having a good night until she came in so I was in a good mood). She earned that slap, but she only got one. If she would have tried it again I would have punched her in the face. But I was making out with her boyfriend so she got so slap me.

As I was walking out the door she said something like, "We're not friends anymore."
I was irritated at being interrupted and did not give a shit about her. I turned to her and said in a voice oozing with sarcasm, "Dang it," and walked out the door.

I remained good friends with both the boys. Crazy-girl's relationship ended... eventually.

Dang it.


Serial Monogamist said...

I think you were being more than generous in allowing the one slap.

But, as SGL pointed out, funny that she slapped you, even though you weren't the one who had agreed to/broken the monotony, I mean, monogamy. He did.

Fuckin women. man.

LaMo said...

No kidding. Her perspective would have been a great DIW post. I'm sure he got his share of crazy-girl wrath later on.

Jennifer said...

I'm continuously amazed by the amount of self-centered, self-justifying people in the world. The boyfriend is a terrible person and you don't sound much better. So what if she was 'crazy'? Wait until they're not in a relationship. Is it so hard to respect other people?
I think the saddest part about this post is the joyful tone in which it is written.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jenn, I think you meant continually.

"The word continuous means unbroken, so that something that occurs continuously occurs with no breaks. The word continually describes something that occurs repeatedly over a period of time."