Thursday, March 5, 2009

Worst One Night Stand Ever

**Editors' Note: Found this little story from across the Atlantic. Holy shit. **

Wayne Fisher looks like your typical early 20-something guy:

Wayne likes to drink, likes to fuck, and enjoys taking some Valium every now and again to cut loose, according to a story in the Daily Mail. His tastes lean toward the pretty, young, attractive girls at the clubs as evidenced by Dominique Fisher, a young lady he went home with:

According to the story, Wayne went home with Dominique after meeting at a club. They had both had a few drinks, Wayne had taken some Valium, and they bumped uglies in the bikini area, as the saying goes.

But when Wayne woke up, something was horribly, horribly wrong. He was covered in blood and found this:

And these:

"When I woke I was covered in blood. Dominique was snoring. I just had to get out of there. I didn't even wake her to ask what she'd done," Wayne told reporters.

Jesus H. Christ.

Needless to say, Wayne high tailed it out of there and called the police. Dominique was arrested, charged and found guilty of "unlawful wounding." (God I love the British vernacular.) She has yet to be sentenced.

Next time you think of going home with that pretty thing from the bar, think of Wayne.


Serial Monogamist said...

I wonder if he was into the knifeplay when he was all blacked out, though?

He wouldn't be the first to agree to something in a fit of passion and wake up sore in the morning.

Walter said...

Holy crap.

Write up your alley said...

That must have been some walk of shame!

Anonymous said...

Haha that's too much. Wonder if he will quit taking Valium before his one nighters?

Anonymous said...

Makes me wonder what would fall under lawful wounding.

June said...

Lawful wounding includes hickeys, bite marks and broken hearts.

Anonymous said...

she wasn't really trying to hurt him if he didn't bleed out while passed out. if he had been drinking tons and got REALLY cut, Dominique the freak would have had some cold and unresponsive morning sex

Helen said...

I agree with Serial Monogamist. Valium or no, how could you not notice that someone was slicing you up like that?

Anonymous said...

i've taken valium for a pinch nerve that i have in my neck, and i've gotten paper cuts and scrapes at work, and bumped into a metal peg and not even noticed because you dont feel the pain. your whole body is numb to an extent. drinking a beer is like taking a shot of hard alcohol, so if he had more than one mixed drink then i doubt he would have even noticed until 6 hours later.

Seeker of the 4 S's said...

Wow... That is officially one of my worst nightmares!

LaMo said...

I thought cutting was cool. You get those cool scars as a memento of your sanity. The best part is that it's a great way to put your permanent mark on a one-night stand. Right? Doesn't everybody want my name forcefully placed in their skin?


I guess it's a good way of keeping a "who I've slept with" list. Doesn't take up any space in your nightstand, either.