Thursday, February 12, 2009

Getting used to new things

I think it's strange what we can get used to, and how these things don't seem at all strange at the time, not until they're undone.

A recent meeting with an ex highlighted the point for me. Poster Boy and I were getting together for one final exchange of stuff.

(Or we thought it was final, that process seems neverending, the unentwining of things, pictures, friends, bank accounts, tax documents. Everso thankful there had to be no courts involved, no kids, even more)

More than six months had passed, the holidays were over. And we'd both moved on, and both had new people in our lives. Somehow, this was the first meeting at which things were comfortable. I could tease him without getting nasty. We could laugh without following it up with sad silence. No one cried, no one yelled. There was a brief, awkward hug (I refused to shake his hand. That seemed stupid). We shared a beer. He asked me about the New One, I gave up only as much info as I was willing to, danced around other questions. Then Poster Boy, in classic form, asked, "if this dude" was going to try to find him and fight him or something. I laughed, admitting New One had asked the same question of him. But then I answered, "No, no. He's really nice," and immediately after saying it, I realized that there was noticeable surprise in my voice.

Poster Boy looked at me, "Oh yeah? He is? I have that, too," he said, eyes wide, incredulous.

We nodded together, slowly.

"So, do you guys fight?" he asked.

"Oh, no. No." I said, "You?"

"No, huh uh."

We looked at each other, shaking our heads. Shrugged. As if we'd had no idea such a thing was possible.


Anonymous said...

That was a very accurate description of a meeting I also had recently. Who knew you could be in a relationship with someone and not fight. I wonder if Serial and I are just in a honeymoon period or if you can actually have a relationship with someone and not argue all the time. I'm personally striving for the latter.

Serial Monogamist said...

Also weird: When your ex leaves anonymous comments on your blog about him at 2 in the morning, then "accidentally" calls your mom at 9 a.m. the following morning.

Hi Poster Boy! Now please, stop stalking me.

Anonymous said...

No way! I wasn't stalking you. You're the one who can't stop talking about me on the internet. Also I wasn't trying to be anonymous I just didn't want to do all the paper work. As for your mom, she a real nice lady.

janelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Serial Monogamist said...

(were too)

"Slightly Disheveled" said...

Awwww.. so you two CAN still fight. Only you don't have to look at each other and share things.

These interwebs is delicious. Makes stalking so much more public... no need for counting empty bottles of beer in your backyard recycling or ANYTHING...

Luck be a lady said...

What happened to the DIW in which Serial Monogamist's ego didn't play such a prominent role?

Why are your comments so callous and mean and your posts so sappy and hollow?

Serial Monogamist said...

Good question, Lucky.

Not sure I have a quick answer, though. I'll have to look deep into my giant ego in order to come up with an answer for you. You know, spend some time poring over old DIW posts, tracking my comments on a mean scale over time.

Write up your alley said...

Serial Monogamist makes the blogosphere go 'round. Deal with it.

Serial Monogamist said...

Thanks for your understanding Alley.

And thanks, also, for talking about me. I love my public. And I love me. Me.

dereconstructed said...

Yo SM. I really enjoyed this post - so honest. (Really and for trues).


Not a Stalker.