Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Three ways to confuse the Serial Monogamist

1) Go out on one date. At the end of the date, ask for date two, to which she replies, “Maybe let’s grab a beer sometime, you know, as friends?” Follow up with near daily joke email forwards.

2) Go out on three dates. Get into an argument on date #2 and date #3. When you try to set up date three, and she says, “you know, actually, this is going to sound really strange, but I think not. I’ve met someone, and I think it might go somewhere. You’ve been there, right?” Tell her, of course, yes, sure. Thanks for being honest. "Pocket dial" her that night, so she can hear what sounds like a bar in the background. When she texts, asking if that pocket dial was intentional, ignore her. Then, weeks later, send her a text, just saying hi and wondering how she is.

3) Go out on two dates. Try to make date three. When she explains that while you seem really nice, you two don’t seem to be a match, tell her she’s “wrong.” Then continue for weeks afterward to send emails and texts. Continue this even after you’ve sent a text that says, “Hey stranger, how are you doing?” and she replies, “Good. I’m seeing someone.”

Isn’t it OK to just stop talking to someone you went out with just a few times, after it’s clearly, amicably way, way over?


Write up your alley said...

I'm always surprised when guys don't get those very forward hints.

Maybe they should read "He's Just Not That Into You"?

hank s said...

um, can i try and confuse the serial monogamist? i mean, while all these dates are going on and all... maybe we could get together and get a lil deeply confused? :)

thanks s.m., this is funny.

Serial Monogamist said...

Uh, well, Hank, I'm sorry, you seem like a really nice person and all (wait, Hank S.? As in Hank Scorpio? I LOVE Hank Scorpio ... tempting ...)
but I think I have a serious waxing appointment this weekend. I'll be out of commission for awhile. Weeks, maybe.