Thursday, April 30, 2009

You'll Know Exactly What These Are

Oh. My. God. My newest time waster:

Sweet jesus. Here's some examples:

(734): Pregnant stripper...not hot.

(843): I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.

(859): im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever

(516): Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.

(714): I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.

I can't stop reading.


dkgoodman said...

(313): All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
(517): Maybe you should learn how to spell write first


Serial Monogamist said...

Sounds like one of my favorite (real, I promise) IM conversations of late:

(a): I just think it's not fair that you don't have to pay because you give him blow jobs.
(b): It's not just the blow jobs, it's the hot snatch. I'm a tiger.
(a): Shudder
(b): You're not shuddering, you're quivering
(a): Retch
(b): That was just your mouth watering